#2424 Below Deck S11E15, Part 1: Paris is Burning (Bridges)
by Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam | Wondery
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About This Episode
61:52 minutes
published 19 days ago
English
© 2021 Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam
Explicit
Speaker 70s - 9.98s
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audible.com slash crappins or text crappins to 500 500 watch what happens when there's so much what crap happens
Speaker 5164s - 165.56s
hello and welcome to the dulcid sounds of watch what crapans WORK_OF_ART Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens.
Speaker 10170.28s - 177s
Hello, and welcome to the dulcid sounds of Watch What Grapins WORK_OF_ART. I'm Ronnie PERSON. That's Ben PERSON over there. Hello, Ben PERSON. Hi, who are you? Good.Welcome to your life, Ben PERSON.
Speaker 7178.78s - 180.64s
Thank you so much. Welcome to your life.
Speaker 10181.22s - 189.46s
Thank you. So glad to be living it. Thank you, everybody. Sit down. Have a seat. Have a seat. Guys, thanks so much for being here. Today is below deck day.
Speaker 9191.3s - 203.44s
You know, what a day. I mean, it's just to watch. It's so fun to watch little toxic seeds grow. You know, Fraser has been planting little seeds of toxicity all season. And I have to hand it to him.
Speaker 10203.52s - 217.9s
It usually takes a season or two to watch these things grow on television. But his grow right away. I mean, he turned Paris into a monster within five minutes. That was the quickest growing seed of toxicity. It's a bloom. It's a full toxic bush now.So thank you, Fray PERSON.
Speaker 7217.9s - 259.48s
Nice work. Yeah. Also, in terms of if we're giving out awards, this is the, you guys don't realize this. You've tuned in to the 2024 Toxies award show where we're handing out Toxies for best toxic behaviors. And we also have to give one to Ben for being able to pummel Sunny down into submission where she has now really not, not, she's really allowed to put all the issues in their relationship on her own shoulders and reframe it as like her fault for being too invested. So, congrats, Ben PERSON, on your, on your toxic behavior for wearing down this
Speaker 0259.48s - 265.62s
poor lady and you get, you get an award. You get a, you get toxy. I mean, truly well done.
Speaker 10265.96s - 314.76s
Really a lesson to all the fuckboys out there. If you really want to get along well with women while you're fucking them over, basically, I guess it's more of a lesson to us who have to deal with fuck boy. Anybody who has to deal with a fuck boy,the lesson to us, I guess, is just give them whatever they want and make no arguments and just apologize a lot as they fuck you over. And you'll feel great. Now that said, I mean, it is much better when you just look at someone as a masturbatory meat puppet, which is what she's pretending to do.I don't really believe it because she's entering that phase where she's just like, oh, I'm so happy. Which, as we know, we know that personality. That is a Shannon Bedore personality from Real House House of Orange County ORG, which is now the second time that's come up this weekend in our recaps. And we'll see where that leads. I can guarantee it's not anywhere that's fun for Sunny.Okay.
Speaker 7314.76s - 343.6s
Also, I have a surprise to handouts. I don't think you probably ever saw coming. I want to give out a surprise taxi to the matriarch of the family that came on below deck. I think her name is Noreen PERSON. She gets a toxy because you can tell that she is very domineering in a very pleasant and waspy way to her daughters. And to that, I say, congratulations. You get a toxy for gay icon Toxy Award PERSON because that's what we love. We love matching.
Speaker 10343.6s - 346s
I thought she was like so fun loving and like...
Speaker 7346s - 352.14s
That's how she presents, but I guarantee, like at home, she's like, oh, Cassie PERSON, that's
Speaker 6352.14s - 357s
what you're gonna wear tonight? Okay, well, I guess if you can live with it, I can live with it.
Speaker 10357s - 365.6s
Cassie, I applaud your bravery in just going so overboard on your calories today, not even caring. I mean, Good for you.
Speaker 7365.6s - 372.16s
You know, my daughters are really, they're like my best friends, because if I'm not their best friend, who will be, am I right? Okay.
Speaker 10374.24s - 378s
Best and only, am I right? I mean, it's too long of a nickname for your mom, but.
Speaker 7379.2s - 382.8s
I've out, this woman seems so nice and her daughters, they all seem like, they all seem
Speaker 10382.8s - 389.02s
like a very healthy family, but there was something about her that I was drawn to. You know that energy that like excites us
Speaker 7389.02s - 410.06s
gays NORP where we're like, oh my God, oh my God, I feel like. An abusive mother. I feel like this is a strong, a strong female figure. I stand there. There was just something about it where I was like, oh, I want to know more. Because you know that she has like some sort of like very wide smile that hides like an evil interior in the best way.
Speaker 10411s - 413.56s
Well, look at her husband walking around like, let me look at your engine.
Speaker 7414.12s - 415.1s
You know she wants.
Speaker 10415.18s - 417.42s
You know she's murdering puppies in her mind all day long.
Speaker 8418.04s - 418.22s
All right.
Speaker 10418.26s - 425.3s
Well, the point is, the belabored point is this is below deck day. We're going to Europe this week for shows. Next week we're in a comedy festival in London.
Speaker 7425.96s - 431.38s
I don't remember what it's called London Comedy Festival EVENT. It's called, no, it's a podcast festival called the podcast show, actually.
Speaker 10431.5s - 445.62s
The podcast show, I'm an idiot and do not have my information up. And guess when I learned things five minutes before, or when I show up there, you know, singing the theme to, you know, singing all the songs from Sweeney Todd because I'm an ignorant fool and really no Sweeney Todd and Mary Poppins PERSON.
Speaker 7445.82s - 454.82s
Okay. So that's what you're getting with me, London. Good luck. So we're coming there next week for that podcast festival. It's going to be great. They're going to love me for this great endorsement.
Speaker 10455.2s - 468.68s
And then we're going to be in Dublin GPE and Birmingham. So London sold out. We saw some tickets for Birmingham and the other place. Dublin. Cannot wait to see you guys. Please wear kilts because you know that's so hot to us.
Speaker 7468.82s - 471.64s
Do not listen to Barbie PERSON? That's Scotland GPE, but that's fine.
Speaker 10471.64s - 472.72s
I don't care. It's close enough.
Speaker 11473.54s - 476.6s
Regionally is close enough that you guys can borrow from some culture.
Speaker 10476.74s - 477.72s
I need to see kilts.
Speaker 7481.1s - 485.48s
We are going to Sweden first. So again, kilts we do require some quilts in Sweden GPE.
Speaker 10485.66s - 494.7s
We're going to Taylor Swift PERSON. I want to see kilts. Hey, London, you too, actually. Throw all some fucking kilts. Let's just all get some kilts going.
Speaker 7494.78s - 503.72s
Everywhere, kilts. Yeah, and that's that. So today, here we are. We're excited, in other words. I sound like I'm Blase PERSON. I'm so excited.I keep waking up.
Speaker 10504.36s - 521.78s
For some reason, I wake up like, oh, my God, where am I? Why don't I speak any language? But even English LANGUAGE. Why don't I even know that? But the music that's playing in my head is that Beyonce song with Miley Cyrus PERSON. I'll be your shotgun ride.Ben PERSON, I see you.
Speaker 7521.9s - 538.22s
I see you shopping online, by the way, on your eyes. No, I'm looking at the podcast show. I know my reading glasses betray me. No, I'm looking at the podcast show website to see who else is going to be here, and I can't find anything. I thought you were shopping. No, I'm not shopping.With suitcases right now.
Speaker 10538.56s - 539.92s
Okay, so Ben PERSON...
Speaker 7539.92s - 545.24s
But I am listening. Notice that I was able to start singing along with your Pianci and Miley Cy.
Speaker 10545.24s - 549.24s
Shotgun! To the end of time!
Speaker 7549.24s - 553.88s
Till the end of time! Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
Speaker 6553.88s - 556.68s
I don't remember.
Speaker 7556.68s - 559.38s
You're down the 405 FAC!
Speaker 10559.38s - 561.32s
Who wants to drive down the 405 FAC?
Speaker 7561.32s - 573s
Get a closer freeway. That sounds so far. By the way... Where do they live? A proper shotgun friend will say, let's not take the 405 FAC. Get a closer freeway. That sounds so far. By the way, where do they live? A proper shotgun friend will say, let's not take the 405. Let's take Laurel Canyon LOC or something.
Speaker 10573.36s - 576.84s
No friend wants to like, you can't shotgun ride on Laurel Canyon LOC.
Speaker 7576.96s - 577.8s
You just sit in traffic.
Speaker 10578.04s - 584.92s
Anyway, we don't have one. We're going to be here 10 hours trying to just start this fucking recap. We're both Looney Tunes today. We're going to Europe LOC. See you there.
Speaker 0585.04s - 590.56s
Okay, let's get on with below deck, shall we? Ben PERSON, you're like I'm talking to you. My dad would not approve of this. You're way too poor.
Speaker 10591.76s - 605.86s
So you're welcome. You're welcome for having, you're welcome for my company today. Okay, I'm closing out the podcast, uh, podcast show tab. I just wanted to see what other podcasts are going to be there. Um, so below deck, welcome back to the Toxies WORK_OF_ART.
Speaker 11606.06s - 608.5s
Okay, so we see palm trees.
Speaker 7609.44s - 614.94s
Palm trees up so high. A thought to start the podcast.
Speaker 8615.4s - 616.6s
Sunlight in my eyes.
Speaker 11617.24s - 618.06s
Oh, is the lyrics.
Speaker 7618.76s - 619.44s
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 8619.74s - 621.32s
Yeah, I noticed that song.
Speaker 11621.48s - 622.54s
Sorry, I got really excited.
Speaker 8622.74s - 623.66s
That song.
Speaker 6624.92s - 630.88s
Palm trees up so high, sunlight in my eyes. Why are you staring at the sun, girl?
Speaker 7630.88s - 634.96s
Why are you surprised the palm trees are tall?
Speaker 6634.96s - 642.08s
Palm trees, sunlight staring at the sunlight. Ow! Ow! Ow!
Speaker 10642.08s - 647.5s
The rest of the lyrics are just, ow, I can't see. Why do I see spots? I can't see your face.
Speaker 6647.5s - 649.76s
I'm traveling off the road.
Speaker 10649.76s - 652s
I thought it was only during an eclipse.
Speaker 6652s - 660.16s
You weren't supposed to stare at the sun. I wanna stare at the sun.
Speaker 7660.16s - 672.76s
Wanna blind myself tonight. What is Cheryl Crow even talking about, by the way? Have we ever really, have we ever really, like, sat down with Cheryl Crow and said, you know, you have terrible ambitions?
Speaker 11676.06s - 680.28s
Remember when Cheryl Crow came out, like, her big invention was really long sleeves
Speaker 7680.28s - 683.28s
that touched the floor so that you could wipe-
Speaker 11683.28s - 684.12s
invention.
Speaker 7684.12s - 685.44s
You could use it as napkins
Speaker 10685.44s - 691.52s
remember when she's like yes i believe in conservation so i i invented sleeves that you also use as
Speaker 0691.52s - 700.4s
napkins and people are like uh that's just called sleeves um put literally stupid okay so we cut
Speaker 11700.4s - 705.5s
every day is a winding road has anyone ever checked on on Cheryl Crow to make sure she's just not drunk?
Speaker 0705.5s - 707.76s
It's like, Cheryl, every day is just like a straight road.
Speaker 7707.76s - 710.5s
You're just drunk.
Speaker 10710.5s - 713.5s
Cheryl PERSON, this is a go-cart.
Speaker 7713.5s - 717.5s
Cheryl PERSON, you just crashed into a palm tree.
Speaker 10717.5s - 720.5s
Palm trees up so high.
Speaker 7720.5s - 722.5s
Cheryl PERSON, you're in a ball pit.
Speaker 10722.5s - 727.3s
Okay, so then we cut to Captain Kerry PERSON, and he's like,
Speaker 7727.68s - 731.4s
O Patal, Sarkisi, Kindini, Coetti PERSON,
Speaker 10731.4s - 735.4s
which means that stupid singer blinded herself.
Speaker 7736.02s - 739.5s
So he's, everyone's waking up,
Speaker 10739.54s - 740.86s
barbbing Kyle PERSON are in the same bunk.
Speaker 7741.64s - 744.32s
And he's like, I don't want to leave.
Speaker 6744.56s - 746.4s
And she's like, get out of here.
Speaker 7746.4s - 749.92s
I have a dad. I have a dad. I don't know how he's going to feel about this. My dad hates mornings
Speaker 6749.92s - 753.52s
and he hates when I sleep with people. If I mix both of those things, I'm never getting another
Speaker 7753.52s - 754.8s
purse. Get out of my bed.
Speaker 10756.64s - 763.6s
Yeah. And now it's time for a deck meeting. So there's going to be a family of three kids
Speaker 7763.6s - 765.06s
coming on, but they're like, not kids.
Speaker 10773.22s - 773.7s
They're like teenagers slash young adults college age, just hot girls, basically, like hot legal girls.
Speaker 7779.18s - 779.76s
And so now there's a stew meeting, and Fraser PERSON's like, all right, everyone, we're going to do a beach picnic.
Speaker 10782.94s - 783.06s
I want you to run that weird chef as well.
Speaker 7786.76s - 789.8s
Please make sure he feels bad about every garnish or lack there of. Paris GPE, you know what to do. Oil drips. That's right.
Speaker 10790.58s - 836.88s
Yeah, he's so terrible. He's just this undermining, I mean, some of those seeds, the toxic seeds. Here he goes. All right. Go to the beach picnic. Don't forget, you're on the chef's ass all day long.And then what do you think is going to happen when Paris GPE finally gets called out on this? He's just going to back off and act like Paris GPE was a bad employee and he'll take care of it from now on because he's dependable. This fucking guy. I can't believe this guy's getting away with all of this. All right. So I'm mad.Sorry. Spoiler alert. Fraser PERSON is still like bungling this job. So Paris GPE is like, well, am I supposed to hold his hand? And he goes, well, be responsible for fuck-ups because it's charter eight. We don't want to get in trouble. So everybodywoo's. And now it's time for provisions, which has always seemed like such a simple, oh no,
Speaker 7837s - 839.42s
never mind. I can't say that. Yes. Sorry. I swear.
Speaker 10839.66s - 845.5s
Pause that thought for a few weeks. Yeah. So, uh, then it's like, time for provisions.
Speaker 7845.5s - 864.64s
Time for provisions. So Barbie and Kyle PERSON are making out on the stairs. Sounds like they have provisioned some love. And, uh, cause like, what have you done for me for fuck's sake, woman, er? And then we see Ben PERSON and Dylan cleaning and Ben's like, say, there can be some pretty chattuckus coming on board.
Speaker 8864.64s - 873s
And Dylan's like, ooh, do you think if one of them kissed, if we could, if one of them kissed, then we would get in trouble? Do you think we could kiss and if they'd not get in trouble?
Speaker 7873s - 883s
And Ben's like, well, Pfizer did that on the West Charter PRODUCT, so technically we should be okay. I'm like, are you already preparing to throw Fraser PERSON under the bus, like retroactively now?
Speaker 10883s - 901.6s
Yes, and isn't it enough you get to bank your fucking employees, Ben PERSON? Okay, without, like, leave the gay alone. Okay, I know I'm attacking him, but I'm from over here. I can attack him. And also, the gays never get anything on this boat. I mean, Kyle PERSON did, I guess, technically.But Kyle PERSON really tried very hard. You know, let Frazier pretend he has feelings for a second. Okay?
Speaker 11901.7s - 901.9s
Yeah.
Speaker 10901.9s - 903.82s
He's the arc. Yeah.
Speaker 7904.06s - 923.5s
So Barbie calls up her mom, and she's like, Mom, this has been, like, more suffering than fun. feelings for a second. Okay? Yeah. It's the arc. Yeah. So Barbie PERSON calls up her mom and she's like, mom, this has been like more suffering than fun, kind of like the time when we had to drink Fanta because we ran out of Diet Coke PRODUCT. But anyway, one of the guys here, he's like totally nothing, like, he's like nothing to do with who I am. Like not the sort of person I would normally ever go for, but like, I'm totally into him, Mom PERSON.
Speaker 10923.5s - 928.26s
And she's telling us, yeah, there's a world over there, and then there's this little world
Speaker 7928.26s - 931.78s
called The Yacht Life ORG, and you're not thinking about the world over there, how we would fit in.
Speaker 10931.94s - 961.1s
Like, are my parents going to like him? Like, what's going to happen with this guy? Am I ever going to be able to afford a decent bag with this guy? Like, you have to think about that kind of thing, because normally it wouldn't be with that kind of guy. Like, I am so, like, I really have to think about that. Like, what am I going to do? Is my dad going to think? Like, I can't believe I'm with someone poor. It's like, ridiculous. I mean, Barbie PERSON is, like, made for TV. They just sit her down and she just goes through every issue she can possibly. I know. Do you want me to start a fight with thatproduction assistant? Because I'll fucking do it right now. My dad doesn't mind me fighting. I'll do
Speaker 0961.1s - 967s
that right now. Do you need it for, do you need film? Do we need footage or something? Because I'll'll do that right now. Do you need film? Do we need footage or something? Because I'll fucking do it right now.
Speaker 10967s - 973s
So then Kyle PERSON just comes on over and just pats her ass. And he's like, hello there.
Speaker 7973s - 977.44s
And she's like, oh, mom, this is the guy I was telling you about, I know. He's attractive,
Speaker 10977.44s - 981.18s
but in a strange way. Like he'll be attractive in 20 years, but like not yet, but you can
Speaker 7981.18s - 989.26s
see it's gonna happen. Yeah, he's like very Adam PERSON driverish, but nothing like it at the same time. You get what I'm talking about? He's like an Adam PERSON driver that stayed poor, am I right?
Speaker 10989.42s - 989.88s
Isn't that funny?
Speaker 7990.12s - 991.64s
Hey, Mom, do you know what I always tell Kyle PERSON?
Speaker 10991.88s - 1000.24s
Like, I don't even think he should wear a taxi if we get married. I think he should just, like, wear a cardboard sign that says, like, we'll work for beer. You know what I mean? That would be funny.
Speaker 111001.32s - 1004.44s
So anyway, Kyle PERSON, you're not helping things with your body language, okay?
Speaker 101004.74s - 1017.32s
Kyle PERSON comes in, he's rubbing her ass. She's on the phone with her mom. And then he kind of still keeps rubbing her ass. And then he moves his hands and instead lifts him over his head and gives her armpit. Like, what is that?
Speaker 71017.32s - 1049.66s
Yeah, it was like, and then I think he like rubs Barbie PERSON, Barbie's shoulder a little bit, which is there's nothing wrong with that. But it was one of those things from like, okay, well, she's obviously, she has concerns about like the PDA with her parents and yada, yada, yada. So I would have just like been just like a little bit more like, you know, I think if you're like meeting parents for the first time, you're just not so casual with your bodylanguage, I guess is what is what I'm saying, which is agreeing with you. It's like you're just like a little bit more aware of how you're presenting yourself. And he's like, oh, how's it going over there?
Speaker 81049.98s - 1058s
This is pretty good over here. Jacked one off this morning. And I'm going to smoke my pipe later. Hey there.
Speaker 101058.04s - 1058.94s
I'm fucking your daughter.
Speaker 81059.46s - 1061.16s
It's pretty good at it, got to say.
Speaker 101063.26s - 1065.74s
So, Barr PERSON was like, yeah, this is the homeless person
Speaker 81065.74s - 1067.22s
probably that I was telling you about.
Speaker 101067.38s - 1080.08s
And she's like, oh, he's so handsome. Wow, you look very good. And he's like, all right, well, bon you later, Barb PERSON. All right, got to go. So he leaves. And then the mom's like, beautiful accent.Fuck him now. You know, because the mom's like really free sex therapist.
Speaker 71080.4s - 1091.66s
Yeah. So now there's more cleaning and Fraser and Captain PERSON are at the bar because, you know, Captain Kerryy PERSON's being like super meticulous since this is a yacht-owning family. And so...
Speaker 101091.66s - 1126.44s
He's so meticulous, but I think he's a little performative. I'm going to go out and say it now. I think he's a great captain. I haven't really found anything to find fault in him this season. But when he walked up to the bar and lifted the rubber mats on the bar and went, what's this? What's this for? And Frazier PERSON had to say, you put those on the bar to not stain the marble when you put glasses on. They're glass, they're very typical glass rubber things that go on the bar. I was confused. And then I thought, is he lying? Has he been lying about his resume this whole time? Is he like that Russian NORP chef who pretended she knew what nachos were?
Speaker 71126.44s - 1129.44s
Is that Fraser PERSON or the captain lying?
Speaker 101129.44s - 1130.44s
The captain?
Speaker 71130.44s - 1134.04s
No, I mean, I don't think it's performative because I feel like if it was performative,
Speaker 101134.04s - 1137.64s
he would just be like sitting up in the wheelhouse the entire time.
Speaker 71137.64s - 1153.44s
And then, like, all of a sudden is like very fussy for like one moment. But I think he's come through and he's done checks. He's been doing it all season where he's like, all right, we're going to do a lock three right now. So I feel like it's a genuine meticulousness. So I don't think it's performative actually. No, I mean his whole,
Speaker 101153.5s - 1156.82s
do you think he's really a captain or do you think he like works at Chucky Cheese ORG? And he's
Speaker 71156.82s - 1167.1s
Oh, he might work in Chucky Cheese ORG. Yeah. Oh, that was obvious. It's obvious. He's never driven a boat. I mean, I don't think he's, I don't think he's even driven a boat. Because he doesn't know what bar mats are, which is weird.
Speaker 101167.96s - 1170.64s
That's what I'm saying. I'm suspicious of this whole person.
Speaker 71173.68s - 1179.98s
Now that you say it that way, I'm realizing that, like, it's just been pure luck that he's been able to get the boat in and out of the dock so many times.
Speaker 101179.98s - 1192.74s
I think I was understating it at first. So he's like, yeah, that's suit don't stain the marble, stupid. And the captain's like, oh, oh, by the way, that's Turkish LANGUAGE for, oh.
Speaker 71194.3s - 1268.96s
Got it. Thank you so much for teaching me that, captain. So then he's checking the bathrooms, like, pass, pass! And then it's like, these gears have their own yacht. They expect the best. We haven't had thishigh caliber client yet. The crew needs to step it up. No mistakes. So, and by the way, at this point, I'm thinking, oh, they have their own yacht. Like, they have something that's in a slip somewhere in Monaco GPE, you know, like some big-ass yacht. But we find out later on, they have like a little yacht in Newport Beach GPE. And and like that's not nothing obviously those boats cost a lot but like when you're that's basically the boat that they that's like the boat that they went on on um on Orange County last last season where Heather Dubrow PERSON goes is thereanother floor every time that makes me laugh every time I said when Heather Dubrow PERSON came up is there another floor upstairs is there another no? No. No, it's no. It's like that. It's like a little baby yacht. So I kind of don't feel like maybe this is wrong. I hate to offend yacht owners out there.But I kind of feel like owners of little baby yachts are not going to be like, oh, well, they don't have the toilet paper folded in a little triangle in my guest room, you know, because I just don't see it. There's not enough space to be that meticulous on the little yacht, right?
Speaker 101269.24s - 1270.82s
Yeah, pretty much, yeah.
Speaker 71271.26s - 1274.88s
It's like getting onto like a luxury bus and being like, oh, I have a bicycle.
Speaker 101275.28s - 1278.18s
Like, um, okay, get you get the fuck on the bus?
Speaker 71278.24s - 1279.18s
Like, what do I care?
Speaker 101279.3s - 1280.48s
It's not the same thing.
Speaker 71281.04s - 1281.38s
Exactly.
Speaker 101281.62s - 1285.76s
It's almost, you know what it is, it's like, if you've got like one of those tiny like BMWs ORG,
Speaker 71285.76s - 1306.76s
like a two-seater that's like really cute, so it's luxury, it's nice, but then you get into some big ass like luxury SUV and all of a sudden it's like, oh, well, they drive a BMWs ORG, so they're gonna be super demanding about what this SUV is. It's like, no, they just have like a little two-seater. Yeah. I don't know if this is a hill that's really worth dying on, but it's a hill on enjoying climbing up.
Speaker 101306.76s - 1311.76s
Well, who needs to die on it? Just, you need, just, it's a hill to be a bitch on. That's what I'd say.
Speaker 71311.76s - 1315.76s
It's a hill I'm being a bitch about. I love that, like, for some reason, there's a really nice family.
Speaker 101315.76s - 1320.76s
I'm like- It's better to be a bitch on a hill than it is on flat land. That's what I say.
Speaker 71320.76s - 1327.48s
I'm like, I don't know why. I was like, this perfectly nice family, I'm like, they're not gonna be that meticulous, because their yacht's not big enough.
Speaker 101327.48s - 1348s
Well, that's the problem with being rich is that there's always something better, right? It's like, oh, we own a boat. Well, you're on a bigger boat, so shut up, because your boat sucks, you know what I mean? And it's always like that.It's like, you can finally get a car, and then you get a car that's maybe nicer than your last car, but then all you can see are the even nicer cars, you know? I mean, it's just that's the cycle.
Speaker 71348s - 1351s
The grass is always greener. Yeah.
Speaker 101351s - 1355s
Onson ORG, one is says.
Speaker 71355s - 1360s
These guests have their own yacht. Expect the best. We haven't had this high caliber client yet.
Speaker 101360s - 1363s
The crew needs to steep it up. No mistakes.
Speaker 91363s - 1368.06s
It's time for a commercial. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial.
Speaker 101369.96s - 1381.4s
The CDC estimates that approximately 96 million American adults, more than one and three, have pre-diabetes. Of those with pre-diabetes, more than 80% don't even know they have it.
Speaker 71381.7s - 1393.14s
Why does this matter? If you have pre-diabetes, sugar begins to build up in the bloodstream rather than fuel the cells. This is when insulin resistance occurs, which is believed to be the number one cause of pre-diabetes.
Speaker 101393.52s - 1398.36s
A healthy weight allows insulin to work more efficiently and can help to keep blood sugars within a normal range.
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between stressed eating and physical hunger. Better manage your energy throughout the day and sleep better
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at night. Listen, I've got some health stuff going on here. I've been working. I've been on my weight loss
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journey for about a year now, and I need to track this stuff. So it's great to have something so
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Speaker 101447.82s - 1459.74s
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Speaker 101499.38s - 1532.48s
So guest in five, everybody, get ready. And then we see something I've been totally wondering about, is that shot in the beginning of Paris GPE just staring and doing precision work over something. And the opening is like, and Paris GPE. And it shows her, and she's like, oh, I'm astute.And she's like doing precision looking like CSI WORK_OF_ART. And I was like, wow, what is that? And it was her looking at champagne glasses. We saw the shot in this thing. And I was like, wow, full circle.
Speaker 01532.48s - 1533.72s
The season is almost over.
Speaker 111533.72s - 1536.98s
We're seeing the most important scenes coming to life.
Speaker 01536.98s - 1538.52s
All the pieces are falling into place.
Speaker 71538.52s - 1561.86s
Yeah. So then a girl comes down the deck and then the chef is like, that looks like my girlfriend. I know it's not, though, because she still has a Chanel ORG bag. And then, because all the people are walking forward, by the way, I should say. Those are the people, the guests are arriving, I should say.I don't know why I'm saying it this way. So, um, the guys are like,
Speaker 101562.1s - 1565s
the girls, it's gold!
Speaker 71565s - 1567s
It's girls coming down the dock!
Speaker 101567s - 1570s
Like, they're so excited, they're all Mrs. Patmore PERSON.
Speaker 71570s - 1571s
Speaker 81571s - 1574s
It's women coming down the dock, Daisy PERSON.
Speaker 101574s - 1576s
Hurry, get the rolling pin!
Speaker 81576s - 1578s
It's so funny they mentioned Mrs. Patmore PERSON,
Speaker 101578s - 1583s
because I was definitely going to say that Kyle PERSON is giving the energy of the valet who marries, um,
Speaker 71583s - 1595.8s
whatever that daughter was, you know, the daughter. The ballet, you know, they all of a son have the valet and the family. They're uneasy about it because they're like, it's a valet, but he married our wealthy daughter. That's what Kyle PERSON is.
Speaker 101595.8s - 1622.48s
Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. So the guys are like, like the cartoon eyes are poking out. And I mean, I think everybody's very pretty, but it's also just like people who were let out of prison for the first time, you know? It's like an old Western where the guys just get out of the county jail and they go straight to the bordello, you know, and they're like, what are we're going to get here? And there's just a bunch of board hookers.Yeah. Not really saying the daughters are like bored hookers. Never mind.
Speaker 71622.48s - 1628.12s
The daughters are like. The daughters are like very lovely. They're mind. The daughters are like, with this, but my daughters are like very lovely. They're very lovely and they're very pretty.
Speaker 01628.12s - 1636.68s
But these guys are acting like they have been hold up in a cell for 20 years. And now it's their first time seeing fresh meat.
Speaker 71636.68s - 1662.88s
And so, um, it's like, all right, welcome everyone. Welcome hot people. Come on, go take a tour where hot people can rest around and get drinks. Come on, phrase will take all the tour. It's like, all right, welcome everyone. Welcome hot people. Come on, you go take a tour where hot people can rest around and get drinks. Come on, phrase we'll take on a tour. It's like, oh, so I've heard you've done yachting before. And the dad's like, yeah, Newport Beach GPE.Oh, oh, how sad that you say Newport Beach and it means anything to a European NORP. Okay, I love that for you.
Speaker 111669.7s - 1675.88s
Wow. A town named after the same amount of time you've had a European NORP. Okay, I love that for you. Wow, a town named after the same amount of time you've had your money. New, new money on board, but I'm glad to have any, honestly. We don't
Speaker 71675.88s - 1680.86s
have new ports in Europe. They've all been around for at least 2,000 years. So enjoy.
Speaker 111680.86s - 1685.52s
You've just got ports where I'm from. Have you seen Malta GPE?
Speaker 101685.52s - 1691.12s
I believe its castles were built by dinosaurs, okay?
Speaker 91691.12s - 1695.8s
And he's giving him the tour and he's like, this is the hot tub.
Speaker 101695.8s - 1697.52s
You can see everything from there.
Speaker 91697.52s - 1699.5s
And the dad's like, well, we're a family crew.
Speaker 71699.5s - 1700.88s
Now, I don't know if that was creepy or not.
Speaker 101700.88s - 1702.08s
I didn't get a creepy vibe.
Speaker 71702.08s - 1709.92s
At first I did, I had to re-watch it because I was like, please don't be a creepy family. Please. Yeah. I didn't feel like he'd said it in a creepy way,
Speaker 101709.92s - 1714.6s
but to me, I was like, this is intention versus impact. And I was like, that is kind of a creepy
Speaker 81714.6s - 1719.74s
thing to say, though. Yeah, I couldn't really tell. If he was like, hey, we're a family
Speaker 71719.74s - 1722.98s
crew here, Frazier PERSON. Or if he was like, we're a family crew.
Speaker 101722.98s - 1726s
Oh, who. Oh, real. Why I he was like, we're a family crew. Oh, ho. Oh, real.
Speaker 71726s - 1730s
Uh, so why I'm acting like this today.
Speaker 101730s - 1731s
I've got a...
Speaker 81731s - 1734s
I'm cracked out.
Speaker 71734s - 1738s
Oh, maybe it's because I'm on like my third coffee, so it's 5.30 this morning.
Speaker 101738s - 1742s
Anyway, point is, Fraser PERSON is like, this is what I do.
Speaker 71742s - 1745.2s
Working for a family, they have money.
Speaker 101749.38s - 1750.08s
They're bringing their children on board to celebrate being their children.
Speaker 71752.68s - 1752.98s
They're not like other guests we've had this season.
Speaker 101754.32s - 1754.62s
Cut to the king and queen.
Speaker 71756.18s - 1756.38s
Cut to the king and queen.
Speaker 101763.24s - 1765.76s
Ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dong. And then that lady, I forgot her name, it wasn't Trish, Barb PERSON, or something like that,
Speaker 111765.82s - 1767.64s
where she was wasted, just fell out,
Speaker 101768.04s - 1770.48s
fell out of the hot tub and just banged her head on the side of it.
Speaker 111770.98s - 1771.32s
Yeah.
Speaker 101772.54s - 1775.26s
That was one of the best things I've ever seen on this show.
Speaker 91775.34s - 1777.48s
Just watching a person get what they deserve, you know?
Speaker 101777.66s - 1778.74s
Yeah, she was awful.
Speaker 91779.16s - 1780.12s
So, Fraser PERSON, like,
Speaker 101780.2s - 1783.64s
yes, I'm finally happy to have a group on board
Speaker 61783.64s - 1785.5s
that knows how to enjoy themselves, politely. So, then, like, some, I'm finally happy to have a group on board that knows how to enjoy themselves,
Speaker 101786.02s - 1792.5s
politely. So then like some succession music plays, it's like very serious, and people are cleaning.
Speaker 71793.4s - 1798.5s
And cars like, oh, we're in trouble, Betty PERSON. And he's like, you know, thanks, mate. I know.
Speaker 61798.6s - 1803.4s
It's a I see a vagina and breasts. Don't really pay attention to anything else attach. And I know,
Speaker 71803.48s - 1805.5s
I've got, I'm going to have a half-in for the rest of the strip.
Speaker 101806.06s - 1809.76s
And Ben really keeps trying to get Sunny mad, but she's not letting it work.
Speaker 71809.96s - 1811.04s
I mean, I really like it.
Speaker 101811.34s - 1812.66s
I mean, she's kind of manipulative.
Speaker 71813.18s - 1818.06s
It's like she's kind of learned, I don't want to say manipulating, but like, she's learned his game.
Speaker 101818.12s - 1821s
And it's like, okay, well, I'm not going to give him what he wants and be angry.
Speaker 71821.42s - 1823.38s
Now I'm going to, like, give toxic positivity.
Speaker 101823.58s - 1827.48s
I don't know why I'm saying, you know what I mean, right? But then I'm like, who's winning here? He's still winning.
Speaker 71828.1s - 1831.96s
You can change the attitude, but you're still giving him exactly what he wants. I don't know.
Speaker 101832.08s - 1838.24s
It's making me crazy. I don't like it. So he's pushing it. And so she just goes, okay, guys,
Speaker 71838.24s - 1842.8s
guys, okay, and she's like, what happened? And she's like, okay. And then we see a clip of them
Speaker 101842.8s - 1848.9s
being like, girls, who's coming? Do you think? Get the rolling pin. And she's like okay and then we see a clip of them being like girls who's are coming do you think it the rolling pin and uh she's like guys you've said it like 20 times
Speaker 71848.9s - 1854.64s
and she goes but i'm fine i'm fine and ben's like i know what i'm fine means that means
Speaker 101854.64s - 1859s
something's wrong but i want you to guess what it is without me telling you that's what i'm
Speaker 01859s - 1868.5s
fine means women i've no idea what you're talking about. Women's dictionary. It's what it is.
Speaker 101868.62s - 1875.32s
Why did I find, look at me, how did I wind up in this situation again with women and the way they use words?
Speaker 91875.44s - 1881.34s
It's wild. You know what? I think I've had too much. So, uh, then Sonny PERSON says, you know what?
Speaker 81881.82s - 1885.24s
If I choose to ignore the red flags, that's on me. I'm like, you know what?
Speaker 91885.26s - 1886.38s
I love that mentality.
Speaker 71886.76s - 1919.28s
She's like, I'm ignoring it because I'm horny. I do think that's a healthy mentality, oddly enough. But then the problem is, I think that she, like, she is, she's, how do I say it? I'm not trying to, like, I'm not worried about offending anyone. I'm just trying to make it.It's that way my point makes any sense. It's like she's acting like she's ignoring the red flags and like, whatever, just going to have fun. But like you aren't ignoring the red flag, which is that you can't just have fun with this person because you're going to get attached.
Speaker 101919.62s - 1920.42s
Well, maybe she can.
Speaker 71920.42s - 1923.78s
Some people can do that, you know. I can.
Speaker 101924.4s - 1945.12s
I mean, I think that's a gay culture. I don't know. Madison PERSON can. I think that there's a lot of people who can do it. From what we've seen, she can't do it. But the way she's phrasing it, how she's just like recognizing it, like, okay, well, I was thinking this was a thing, but now it's not a thing. And I can just have fun. Fine. I'll just fuck the guy. And if there's red flags, then it's on me.
Speaker 71945.2s - 1947.1s
I mean, I really liked this.
Speaker 01947.16s - 1948s
I was like, you go, girl.
Speaker 71948.18s - 1951.72s
But at the same time, I'm like, if you can really do it, then you go, girl.
Speaker 01951.92s - 1957.66s
But if you're really thinking maybe this is the way to get him to really like me, then no, no, no. Don't do that.
Speaker 91957.86s - 1959.62s
But if you can really just fuck him, then go for it.
Speaker 71959.62s - 1965.92s
Because I think, I hope that she knows that at the end of the day, she's only banging this guy because he's her only option on a boat.
Speaker 91966.22s - 1976.52s
I hope that it's the same thing with the guys where she's only this excited about someone because she's on a boat. She's got boat colored glasses on because obviously she can do a zillion times better than this, you know?
Speaker 71976.64s - 1990.9s
Yeah, well, that's the thing is that she's acting like she's ignoring the red flags, whatever. But like, she's like, when he says, like, I'm trying to see who Ben PERSON really is, but there's chemistry there. Like, there is no chemistry there. There's
Speaker 101990.9s - 2003.72s
just proximity. And so the fact that she can't even recognize that is still going to, like, lead her down the wrong path. Well, um, proximity is chemistry sometimes. Because I would
Speaker 72003.72s - 2006.56s
definitely, I would definitely fuck a homelier
Speaker 102006.56s - 2037.7s
person that was closer to me, but a hot person that was far from me. That's just how it is. So sometimes proximity is, sometimes it's just whatever is there. You know, you eat what you see. I always learned that in Weight Watchers ORG as a kid. If you leave something on the counter, you're going to eat it, no matter what it is.If it's peanut M&Ms, you're going to eat that. If it's a banana, it's going to be that, you know. An onion? Banana there. And if it's a penis, you're probably going to jump on that. So be careful what you have on your kitchen counters.Don't put Ben PERSON's on your kitchen counter. Don't.
Speaker 72037.82s - 2038.18s
Don't.
Speaker 102038.48s - 2039.92s
Well, specifically that Ben PERSON.
Speaker 72040.88s - 2042.8s
Yeah, not all Ben PERSON, obviously.
Speaker 102043.94s - 2046.9s
I mean, I wouldn't put you on my, my, my, this is a family show band.
Speaker 112047.34s - 2048.08s
Oh, we're like that.
Speaker 102048.16s - 2048.82s
We're a family.
Speaker 112049.3s - 2050s
We're a family.
Speaker 102050.6s - 2051.9s
We are a family.
Speaker 72052.6s - 2054.66s
So, uh, it's time to leave.
Speaker 102054.74s - 2056.36s
So leaving the doc and everything.
Speaker 82056.36s - 2062.72s
And Ben PERSON is, uh, you know, uh, Ben tells the crew to go check the umbrellas and stuff.
Speaker 72062.72s - 2064.64s
And Kyle's like, Hey, Dylan PERSON, go talk to him.
Speaker 62064.9s - 2068.94s
So Dylan PERSON goes over and starts like flirting with the girls in whatever his weird way and stuff and calls like, Hey, Dylan, go talk to him. So Dylan PERSON goes over and starts flirting with the girls in whatever his weird way is, they're
Speaker 72068.94s - 2074.72s
like, what's your name? He's like, Dylan PERSON. And he's like, hi, hi, hi, hi, how are you enjoying
Speaker 82074.72s - 2078s
it here on the STD? They're like, STD.
Speaker 72078s - 2086s
Like, ST David PERSON, like, oh, ha ha ha, ha. He said ST Like, way to go. He said STD.
Speaker 82086s - 2087s
Ha ha.
Speaker 72087s - 2089s
That's funny.
Speaker 62089s - 2092s
He said STD, sister.
Speaker 102092s - 2093s
Ha ha.
Speaker 72093s - 2095s
He said STB.
Speaker 82095s - 2096s
Ha ha ha.
Speaker 102096s - 2103s
It's just like a slow wash of very uninterested laughter that ripples across the four daughters.
Speaker 82103s - 2105.68s
Hey, may offer you any of you a
Speaker 102105.68s - 2114.74s
towels that we can wipe off some extra calories from your glasses? So then, uh, chef and Fraser PERSON are
Speaker 82114.74s - 2121.06s
talking. Fraser PERSON goes into the gallery and he's like, have you got lunch? Stupid. And the chef's like,
Speaker 102121.16s - 2144.06s
I'm going to just do one sushi rollmate. And he's like, well, I'm going to show you what I've got for plates. Here your choices. A rectangle or I'm going to show you what I've got for plates. Here, your choices. A rectangle or a square. Which would you prefer? And he's like, I don't want to play any of this, actually.He goes, well, I think it would be better plated. Well, fuck off. Get the fuck out of here. That's what you should get a rolling pin to the head. I'm just going to keep bringing up rolling pins. Can you should get a rolling pin to the head?Get out.
Speaker 72144.38s - 2186s
Yeah. He's like, well, I've got a lot to do to the head? Get out. Yeah. He's like, well, I've got a lot to do. It's timing. Sorry. So then Fraser was like, anytime I offer to help, I feel like chef Nick PERSON isn't working side by side and I want it. I feel like a lot of fuck you's. Okay, you know what? Rejecting a rectangular plate is not rejecting, rejecting you wholly as a person. He just was like, I don't want that plate. Let's just put it all. I want to make it as a big sushi display, which actually, I think in this situation, I am fully with the chef because I think getting like a little rectangle plate with six like hand or cut pieces on it feels a little sad in the context of a super yacht.I think if I saw a big mound of sushi in the middle of the table, I'd be like, ooh, luxury, decadence.
Speaker 102186s - 2190s
Yeah, isn't this for the beach picnic?
Speaker 22190s - 2192s
This is for the beach anyway, right?
Speaker 72192s - 2225.42s
So yeah, so it's not crazy to do something like that. And so the chef's like, can I get a red bull? I guess trying to assert his power. So Fraser PERSON's like, you fucking, God damn it. I hate you. I hope you choke on it. Here's your red bull.He goes, I said, too, mate. He's like, oh, God. Two, you'll pass out. God willing, motherfucker. By the way, against the chef, by the, if I went to the beach picnic and all I received were six pieces of sushi, I would be like, this is not enough. I need at least 12, not 18. You've got extremely
Speaker 102225.42s - 2228.22s
thin, well-manicured
Speaker 72228.22s - 2229.54s
people from Newport GPE.
Speaker 102230.06s - 2230.9s
You're right. You're right.
Speaker 72231.2s - 2235.9s
It's like, you can tell he's been doing this 70. I mean, 20 years, because
Speaker 102235.9s - 2241.94s
he knows, you know. So the anchor goes down.
Speaker 72242.12s - 2252.76s
Great job, Sonny PERSON. And Paris GPE and Fraser are like talking. And Paris asks if they'll be plating on the beach. And Fraser PERSON says, yes, there will be plating on the beach, which is...
Speaker 102252.76s - 2260.74s
That's a blacky. He's such an undermider. I can't believe it. And he's also putting this girl right into the path of danger. It's not cool. Yeah.
Speaker 72261.5s - 2278.08s
So now the dad... You know, dad wants to have a dad time... Dad moment. So he's like, can I get a tour of the boat? So captain's showing him around. He's like, yeah, come on over here. Here's the control room. He has three levels. 1850. Assade of horse power, big boy, all that kind of good stuff. How many levels are on your boat?
Speaker 102278.8s - 2285.06s
One. Oh, well, that's all right. It's so sad. There's nothing to feel bad about, you know.
Speaker 112285.36s - 2287.72s
Every man cries himself to sleep some nights.
Speaker 102287.82s - 2292.06s
Just remember that, friend. Have you ever been chased by some holy pirates pointing? Nope.
Speaker 02293.32s - 2304.92s
So your life hasn't got much. But you've got a nice family, mate. That's nice. Have you ever been stuck working on as a roofer while you waited for your wife to forgive you enough to see your daughter? No?
Speaker 102305.28s - 2312.16s
All right. You don't really have the same gratefulness that some of us have for what they've got in life, but good for you, mate. Good for you.
Speaker 72312.16s - 2334.2s
Hi, I'm sure your boat looks like a megagiot and whatever fictional beach town you live in. Newport GPE never heard of it. Have you ever heard of port? That's a good one. You know, another question, have you ever been chased poet? That's a good one. You know, another question. Have you ever been chased by Somali NORP pirates?But it turns out there were just people in a robot just wanted to sell your fish. Because that happens all the time to me.
Speaker 22335.72s - 2339.86s
Actually, you know, that's like, that's like a big ploy with the pirates.
Speaker 02339.86s - 2343.48s
I learned this because of, um, North Sea LOC TikTok.
Speaker 72343.64s - 2378.74s
Because Nazi NORP TikTok started to then turn into like pirate TikTok. So a lot of times the pirates show up in little rowboats and they pretend like they're just like merchants. Because they'll be TikToks PRODUCT. That'll be like, if you ever see a robot on the ocean, this is why a captain will freak out. A lot of times, one thing you may not know, a lot of times people pretend like they're just merchants trying to sell you fish, but in fact, they're pirates and you see these like little robos and people pull out their machine guns and stuff. It's also wild to think about thatlike a person on a little robo could take over an entire cruise ship. Food for thought. Hey, man,
Speaker 102378.94s - 2387.9s
you know, the strongest wins. The strongest personality wins because a lot of times, it's like people who rob you with a finger in their jacket where they're like, I got a gun. And if they're
Speaker 92387.9s - 2395s
believable, you're like, here's on my money, you know, and you pee on the floor a little bit, because that's what you've learned to do in movies and you're not a wuss at all. And that's
Speaker 102395s - 2403.24s
how it is. And I think on the little robots, they can overtake you because they've got, they may have a tiny boat, but mentally they've got the dick that would float a Titanic FAC's worth
Speaker 72403.24s - 2415.28s
of people across an ocean. Well, let me tell you something. If a pirate ever tried to come on my boat, I would say, Arctic Captain Ben-im, which means I am the captain now.
Speaker 102418.66s - 2422.96s
If a captain ever tried to, if anybody ever tried to come on my boat, I'd be like, my dad does not like people coming on boats. I'm talking that right now.
Speaker 72425.84s - 2431.04s
If anyone tried to come on my boat, I'd be like, good. I need to be in Laguna Beach anyway in like five minutes, so I'll just get off.
Speaker 112431.04s - 2433.84s
So Paris and Ben PERSON are talking...
Speaker 102433.84s - 2452.8s
Oh, wait. So the dad has just had the tour right. So they go to the daughter's, and he's like, kids, we just went to the engine room, 30,000 gallons of fuel. And one of the daughters goes, wow, dad, I can't even imagine how much fuel that is.
Speaker 72454.3s - 2457.48s
Here's a hint. It's 30,000 gallons worth.
Speaker 102457.98s - 2469.82s
I don't know why I thought it was so funny. It's just how she said it made me laugh so hard. Wow, I can't even. She's like, how do I make this sound different than the last time he was so fucking the rest of the gas tank?
Speaker 112470.18s - 2470.36s
You know?
Speaker 102470.52s - 2472.12s
Because you know it's happened 30 times.
Speaker 72472.66s - 2482.38s
It is wild, by the way. This boat has 30,000 gallons of fuel in it at any given moment. Like, that is,oh. Well,
Speaker 102482.48s - 2486s
let's not forget to stop and talk about conservation for half an episode.
Speaker 72486s - 2491.38s
It did make me feel pretty bad for those oceans. I was like, wow, we are not doing right by this planet.
Speaker 102491.38s - 2492.38s
I know.
Speaker 72492.38s - 2494.76s
We're like, why are the ocean so mad at us?
Speaker 102494.76s - 2495.76s
Yeah.
Speaker 92495.76s - 2498.24s
Why are those orcas sinking yachts?
Speaker 102498.24s - 2500.5s
No shit, right?
Speaker 92500.5s - 2501.5s
No, I get it.
Speaker 72501.5s - 2503.68s
I get why the orcas are doing that.
Speaker 102503.68s - 2506.5s
So it doesn't mean we approve of that, Orcas.
Speaker 72506.5s - 2509s
Change your behavior. Violence is not the answer.
Speaker 102509s - 2544.68s
Okay? All right. Use proper channels. And that's a pun, because you guys are seafaring. So now the guests head on the tender with Dylan for beach day. And the captain is doing a debt check.Det check with Sonny or Dick Chick PERSON. He's doing a deck check with Dick Chick PERSON. And Sonny's like, yeah, I think Captain Carey PERSON's a little bit militant. He does not cut corners. And then we see him crawling all over the furniture. He's like, I don't like zippers on pillows sewing.Listen, one thing I don't like seeing pillows enjoying is an adventure. Pillows are working, zippers down.
Speaker 72545s - 2550s
Hands up, zippers down. Hands up, zippers down.
Speaker 102550s - 2555s
So... Sorry, I got really bored after I left Top Chef WORK_OF_ART. They would let me back in.
Speaker 72555s - 2576.56s
Hi, I'm Padmalakshmi PERSON and I'm your new guest on your yacht. We'll be having a comedy show. Okay, knock, knock, who's there? Not you, because you're too poor. Who are you anyway? Okay, knock, knock, who's there? Not you, because you're too poor. Who are you anyway? Okay, knock knock, who's here? People with the James Beard Award WORK_OF_ART nomination. Is that any of you? No, sorry. I guess you'll never see the inside of my knock knock house. Bye.
Speaker 102578.72s - 2600.28s
Oh, so picnic time. So Paris and Barbie PERSON are serving, and the chef is now heading over on his own tender. And he turns to Fraser and he goes, do I look all right? And Fraser's like, you look amazing, chef. Don't you worry. Get over there. You're about to look like a total asshole. I've already set Paris GPE up to argue with you in front of guests. Enjoy yourself and some.
Speaker 72602.56s - 2611.04s
Chef, you look absolutely amazing. I'm sure Betty PERSON will be so horny when she sees you walk back into your rock house of yours.
Speaker 52613.68s - 2621.5s
Here comes one right now. The Coca-Cola Company ORG,
Speaker 02621.8s - 2648.64s
Kyrig, Dr. Pepper ORG, and PepsiCo are bringing consumers more choices with less sugar than ever before. From sparkling, flavored, and bottled waters to zero-sugar sports drinks, teas, and sodas, consumers are taking advantage of these choices. In fact, nearly 60% of beverages sold contain zero sugar. To learn more, visit balance us.org.
Speaker 102655.44s - 2668.3s
So now the family is having, we get to see a peek into their lives. They're having a conversation on the beach. And one of the daughters is like, look at those palm trees. Did you know that more people die of falling coconuts than they do of sharks? And the mom goes, oh my god, well, who stands under a palm tree? Like, mom, lots of people do.
Speaker 72668.3s - 2686.72s
We live in California. Also, you're actively sitting under three palm trees right now. And she goes, our palm trees don't produce coconut, sweetie. This is why she didn't get into Yale ORG or community college. And Dar's like, why? Why don't they produce the coconut?
Speaker 102686.72s - 2697.6s
Or couldn't even get into an actual coconut. They rejected her just from Sam Goody PERSON. So the daughter's like,
Speaker 72697.6s - 2703.04s
why? Why don't ours produce coconuts? And the other one goes, because they're hybrids. The coconuts are
Speaker 102703.04s - 2705.14s
hybrids? No, the trees are hybrids. So you can drive a tree. Do we get to the, can the tree go into the carpool lane? No, it because they're hybrids. The coconuts are hybrids? No, the trees are hybrids.
Speaker 72705.4s - 2715.18s
So you can drive a tree? Do we get to the, can the tree go into the carpool lane? No, it's not a hybrid car, you dummy. When are they moving their line to plug-ins?
Speaker 102715.94s - 2715.96s
Ugh.
Speaker 72718.04s - 2719.88s
So why have a question...
Speaker 92719.88s - 2720.52s
Oh, go ahead.
Speaker 72721.04s - 2723.34s
My question is, why do sharks fall out of trees?
Speaker 92724.06s - 2725.46s
No one said sharks fell out trees.
Speaker 72725.54s - 2729.84s
Well, you said more people die of falling coconuts than sharks. Well, the sharks aren't falling, too.
Speaker 102730.52s - 2737.42s
No, we shoot people with sharks, honey. Jeez. Anyway, we don't want coconuts because coconuts kill so many people. Am I right, girls?
Speaker 92737.58s - 2738.6s
And they're like, I'm stupid.
Speaker 72738.8s - 2740.5s
I was like, actually, your mom's hilarious?
Speaker 92740.9s - 2742.68s
And I think we all need to celebrate her.
Speaker 102743.62s - 2744.74s
Can I get some more mom love?
Speaker 72745.36s - 2760.4s
She is just, you know what? She's just trying to find the fastest path out of the conversation. I don't know. We don't have coconuts in Southern California LOC because they'll just kill you. And so we've, we've genetically modified our trees to be more safe. I don't know. Just shut up already. I can't
Speaker 102760.4s - 2789.8s
wait to have sushi. So then the chef arrives and sees like the little, you know, cocktail table they've set up for him. And he's like, oh, this is my fucking kitchen. Right, right, Fred PERSON. And so he's laughing. And Paris GPE goes, um, so should I just put the food here on your table?And he's like, no, the door will have it there, not there. So he starts moving it over and she's just, no, no, not on the bar. All right, this is my bar area, and I don't want raw food here.
Speaker 72790.36s - 2801.3s
And he goes, this isn't raw. It's cooked. Oh, it will. It's okay. Cook, but, like, I still don't want, you know, like, cooked food. No, just put it over there.Put the part of the dog that has the bono that's on the sand over there.
Speaker 102801.86s - 2825.16s
He's like, okay, whatever you want. She was, a thank you. And he's like, all right. Now, you got to let people who micromanage think they're in charge, but I've been doing this long time. Three stripes, one stripe. Three stripes once. And he's about to lose it, but I have to say, Fraser PERSON has created a monster. The fact that we're siding with anybody overthis chef, this chef was hired, he was literally cast to be the biggest pig on TV,
Speaker 72830.48s - 2851s
and we're on his side. This is sad. Yeah. Also, you can tell this is someone who's worked long enough that he's like, oh, here we go again, another micromanaging underling. It's fine. I don't care enough. I'm just making sushi. I just, you know, you sort of like when you just know, like, honestly, talk about hills that are not worth dying over is like where to put the plate of ingredients. So he's like, whatever, do what it takes to get to the next meal.
Speaker 102851.68s - 2861.74s
Yeah, he's saying that, but he's getting so mad. I mean, he's getting so red-faced and mad. So he's like, okay, she says, what are we having? He says, sushi and salad. And she says, well, are you going to play date?
Speaker 72861.94s - 2888.8s
Because I don't want to have to walk around with the tray for 10 minutes asking people what they want over and over again. And then calling me back to, wow. That's your job, though. I hate to break it to you. Oh, my God. You're literally a server. I mean... And I love Paris. This is making me crazy. I feel like they're doing this on purpose just to fuck with the audience. Well, I think... But I think the reason why she's sort of having this attitude right now is because Fraser PERSON said, like, be on top of this guy. Like, he's going to try to, like, take the easy
Speaker 82888.8s - 2892.64s
way out and you have to be on top of him. So I think she's like, I'm going to say this to make
Speaker 72892.64s - 2897.56s
sure that he stays in line because that's what her directive was. And he's like, well, you know,
Speaker 82897.56s - 2901.44s
if I would have known that, I would have done it straight away, but it is what it is. So he plates
Speaker 72901.44s - 2906.04s
it on the rectangle plates, by the way, with a little salad. And Paris GPE says,
Speaker 102906.68s - 2914.06s
Yeah. And so Paris is like, Fraser PERSON told me the whole plate on the beach. It's going to be plated.
Speaker 72914.18s - 2919.64s
So that's what we're going to fucking do. So he's like, I'm leaving. I go to get back. And so he serves
Speaker 102919.64s - 2925.82s
the sushi and goes. And because she tells him he can't get the, she can't, she won't let him get the dessert ready.
Speaker 72925.9s - 2935.86s
He has creme brulee. And she's like, no, we haven't even said mains yet. Like, what are you doing? I was like, oh, my gosh. Well, he's obviously not been schooled yet, like, she is at the end of this episode.
Speaker 102936.56s - 2936.92s
Right.
Speaker 72937.16s - 2938.12s
But she's like, wow.
Speaker 102938.92s - 2941.44s
And she's like, no, actually, it's not that he's like, I have to get back.
Speaker 112941.52s - 2944.96s
He's like, he starts working on the desserts, I guess because he wants to get back.
Speaker 72944.96s - 2967.72s
And she's like, well, we haven't done mines yet. So I'll hold back on desserts. And so he's like, whatever. If Paris GPE wants to take over, she fucking can't. Because she even says, like, I can do this. Don't worry.Because he says, I've got to go back. And that's what I'm doing this now. Which goes, well, you know, if it's just like torching the top of it, I can do that. So that's when he's like, you know what? If she wants to take over, she can. I don't want to have an argument in front of the guests. Yeah.
Speaker 102967.98s - 2977.98s
So then, and he's like, I don't have time for this fucking shit. So he leaves. And then she's just complaining. She's like, oh, he wants to leave family soil. I'm sorry, maybe the
Speaker 72977.98s - 2985.82s
Sizzler ORG. I was surprised I should do about Sizzler. I didn't know Sizzler had like made it out of America GPE. Oh, I'm so proud of them.
Speaker 102986.04s - 3002.98s
God, guys, we did it. So then Zandi calls her brother and has, like, a moment and, like, giving him shit for his mustache. And we find out about her. And she had to shelter her brother because her parents were always fighting. And so when they fought, they would, like, watch the Simpsons WORK_OF_ART together and friends. There's a lot of fighting.
Speaker 73003.84s - 3031.64s
And it was sad. It was really sad. By the way, speaking of Sizzler, etc., when I mentioned Sizzler, it made me think about how so many Sizzlers ORG have closed, and I have to share some tragic news, which is that it came out today that Red Lobster ORG is closing a huge number of their stores. They are, almost all them are going away. And I just want to say, I'm really distraught about this.
Speaker 103032.08s - 3037.26s
We're going through that moment right now. You know, a lot of Appleby's ORG closed, I heard. So that's a thing.
Speaker 73037.76s - 3062.1s
Things are just, you know, good old standbys or are biased. They're not even stands anymore. They're just buys, goodbye. I can't have Red Lobster go away. I cannot have that. Well, then you need to support them more, Ben, because you know, once every year. And, you're just, they're not even stands anymore. They're just buys. Goodbye. I can't have red lobster go away. I cannot have that. Well, then you need to support them more, Ben PERSON, because you know, maybe I will. Every year, and now they're dead. So, you know what? Well, maybe if they open one closer. They should have fed it more. They need to open one closer to Hollywood, California. Like, you have to go so far to find a red lobster. It's very frustrating.
Speaker 103062.98s - 3071.92s
Uh, cheddar biscuits are outwad in West Hollywood GPE, sir. I know. Are you going to just change the entire law system? Okay. And there used to be
Speaker 73071.92s - 3075.96s
a red lobster on La Cianiga and Wilshire FAC. Fun fact. And look what happened.
Speaker 103076.12s - 3077.58s
It was fire fond. Because
Speaker 73077.58s - 3079.48s
it turned into a bank.
Speaker 103079.8s - 3091.08s
The people, Beverly Hills GPE were like, we are not going to have this here. So they turned it into a little bank. Put the bank in. I want cheddar dollars. I want cheddar benjamins. That's what I want.
Speaker 113091.64s - 3095.4s
So she does the, okay, so she's doing these.
Speaker 103096.8s - 3097.82s
Yeah, Sandy PERSON, yeah.
Speaker 113098.12s - 3100.96s
I mean, look, that's, none of this was great.
Speaker 103101.04s - 3123.14s
But when my parents thought I would watch my parents, not the TV. I was like, this is like live theater. I love it. It's like who's I would watch my parents, not the TV. I was like, this is like live theater. I love it. It was like, who's afraid of Virginia Woolf PERSON, you know? So the kids are talking. Okay, so one of the kids, this family is cracking me up.One of the kids goes, yeah, I wasn't really a fan of when we had bear. And the dad goes, when did we have bear? It's just Sweden GPE, dad.
Speaker 73124.38s - 3131.56s
Oh, righty, I forgot to tell you, I made a reservation at an all-bear restaurant this week for dinner, for us.
Speaker 103132.28s - 3133.18s
Is that a thing?
Speaker 73133.56s - 3135.2s
No, what I love. I love that.
Speaker 103135.36s - 3138.78s
I can't tell if you're a kid. I can't tell if you're a joke. Of course not. We're not to go into a bear restaurant.
Speaker 73139.58s - 3141.4s
You're like, wait, are we eating bear for dinner?
Speaker 103161.84s - 3165.44s
Well, I didn't know if they stirred bears or if it was like gay enough that they only cater to bears you know it's like big hairy eyes um yeah this family they uh did not like bear the yelp reviews are in and bear got two stars Swedish bear got two stars from oh they ate bear. That's what they're talking about.
Speaker 73165.44s - 3166.6s
What did you mean?
Speaker 103166.6s - 3167.96s
What did you think it was?
Speaker 73167.96s - 3170.88s
I thought they were, I didn't know what it meant.
Speaker 103170.88s - 3174.72s
I thought they were saying, I wasn't a fan of when we had bear like meaning a pet.
Speaker 73174.72s - 3176.48s
Like, remember that dog, bear?
Speaker 03176.48s - 3180.1s
I didn't like it. And then the dad was like, when was that? And they were like in Sweden GPE, dad.
Speaker 73180.1s - 3182.06s
Like, maybe they lived in Sweden GPE. We had a Sweden GPE.
Speaker 103182.06s - 3184.1s
They ate bear?
Speaker 73184.1s - 3186s
Yeah, they ate bear. Yeah. They ate bear.
Speaker 103186s - 3187s
Oh.
Speaker 73187s - 3189s
Bears are tough.
Speaker 103189s - 3191s
Are they tough meat, do you think?
Speaker 73191s - 3192s
I imagine.
Speaker 103192s - 3194s
I feel like bear meat is not amazing.
Speaker 73194s - 3195s
I'm sure it's fine.
Speaker 103195s - 3197s
I haven't heard a lot about bear meat.
Speaker 73197s - 3210.24s
You would think it would be, I feel like maybe the reason why bear is not like farmed a lot. It's like, or like we don't eat a lot of bears because it's probably so dangerous like that's terrifying who wants to eat that who wants to eat
Speaker 103210.24s - 3215.84s
a work out of captivity you can't keep cows in captivity we don't eat things that that want to eat us back
Speaker 73215.84s - 3221.2s
right like we don't eat sharks but well i mean they're sharks i just mean they're not like popular
Speaker 103221.2s - 3225.4s
to eat you know do we eat things that want to eat us back?
Speaker 73225.48s - 3233.9s
I'm sure there's some of the fish might want to eat us back. I'm sure some of the fish would bite us, really, to be honest. Yeah, everybody hates us.
Speaker 103235s - 3259.64s
So literally other humans. I mean, we're Americans NORP, so literally everybody wants to bite us. Okay. So we're going to find out next week, can't wait. Okay, so Paris GPE is like, I don't know what I'm talking about. Oh, crumbullies, bears, eating bears.Okay, so the chef returns to the boat and the captain's like, feet, five, foe, I smell the blood of an English LANGUAGE man. Thought I was going to say something in Turkish LANGUAGE, didn't you? I didn't go on the beach.
Speaker 03259.88s - 3262.4s
Listen, here's what I did over here.
Speaker 73262.9s - 3274.08s
I went up to this boat's equivalent of Somali NORP pirates, pillows with their zippers up. And I said, get your fucking zippers stand before I take out a big light, start you in fire and throw you into the sharks. Got it?
Speaker 53285.7s - 3287.1s
So, uh, the chef is like, well, you know, I thought it was going to be a spread, but I got there in Paris being Paris, you know, so I just let her do however she wanted it. So, Carrie PERSON's like, hmm,
Speaker 73287.1s - 3288.7s
So Peres changed it.
Speaker 03288.7s - 3289.8s
Yeah, she changed it.
Speaker 73289.8s - 3303.6s
And at the end of the day, it's not me. If they complain, it's me. That's in the shit, not her. So anyway, if you're done, I feel like that was an ample casual throwing her onto the bus and she'll go take a dump in the, uh, in the head.
Speaker 33303.6s - 3305.18s
Well, he's got through stripes. If he comes to the beat, they need to adapt to him, not me. and she'll go take our dump in the head.
Speaker 103306.82s - 3331.76s
Well, he's got three stripes. If he comes to the beat, they need to adapt to him. Not the other way around. And so the chef's like, well, if there's bad feedback, it's, you know, it's because of her, right? Now, I wanted to get crack on for tonight.And he's like, oh, I get it, my brother in adventure. I get it. So cut to Barbie PERSON making drinks, and she goes, We need to put fizz in these drinks, because white girls love fizzy things.
Speaker 83331.76s - 3335.56s
Deli ORG goes, oh, white girls love a fizz, baby.
Speaker 73335.56s - 3339.24s
So then the chef is, he's like,
Speaker 83339.24s - 3341.24s
well, these guests want fancy suppers.
Speaker 73341.24s - 3354.4s
Guess what? They're going to get cured wahoo, greeter, doctor, puss, nice colors, maybe. I'll're going to get cured Wahoo, grid a doctor pus, nice colors, maybe. I'll reach out to my friend, the dinosaur supply, get a half rib of Sabretooth Tiger PRODUCT, pull out all the stops.
Speaker 103354.4s - 3381.22s
So then Sunny and Ben PERSON are flirting, and she's like, you're hot, and he goes, why my hot? She's just, me, why me? I'm just so happy. Look how happy I am. If you flirting with everybody right in front of my face, isn't this fun? Let's make out. So they make out. And he's like, yeah, Sonny and I, from a week ago, is totally different from the Sonny and I today. I think the space is working in our favor.I really like this girl. Could this be the magic formula? Yeah.
Speaker 73381.82s - 3397.9s
She's letting you do whatever you fucking want to. Yeah. The magic formula is that you fuck with her and you do something humiliating, like post how much you miss your ex on Instagram, make her feel crazy, and then you get some space. Then she comes crawling back. So
Speaker 103397.9s - 3406.8s
the answer is, I guess that is the magic formula. Well, listen, uh, whatever. Whatever works for you, whatever worse for you two crazy kids,
Speaker 73406.84s - 3412.38s
they go into the bathroom and bang. So then Paris and Fraser PERSON are talking. So she comes back and she's
Speaker 103412.38s - 3422.2s
like, he didn't come to the beach, bitch. And he's like, was it that bad? Tell me, how did he do? I gave him two red bulls. Did he have a heart attack? I was praying for it this all time.
Speaker 73423.28s - 3444.76s
And she goes, it was embarrassing. You know, he left. And he wants us to go around and serve it. And all of a sudden, we're doing it. No, we're doing it on plights. And then he left.So I had to do everything. Is this like some kind of sick joke? I'm like, you had to do everything because you said, you go back. I can prepare the desserts. You can go. And now she's like, oh, I had to do everything.Yeah.
Speaker 103448.3s - 3449s
And he's like, oh, God, no, it's not a joke. Unfortunately.
Speaker 73452.04s - 3452.16s
So now the captain and Fraser PERSON are having dinner together in the mess.
Speaker 103456.54s - 3456.74s
And he's like, so was there some confusion on the beach today? How lunch was being presented?
Speaker 93463.9s - 3465.26s
And he's like, um, hmm, issues, issues. Nope. No dramas. No tragedies. and that's all that matters. All I really care
Speaker 103465.26s - 3476.9s
about are the guests, the very, very wealthy family of guests. It's all I care about. If they're happy, I'm happy. And he's like, Fraser PERSON's being coy with me. He's not telling me everything. I'm a little
Speaker 73476.9s - 3515.08s
concerned. Or, as they say in Turkey GPE, beaurs and isilium. Consent, a little consent. So he's like's like, phrase is like, you know, if they're happy, I'm happy. It's like, oh, what? Well, we're going to deal with this later. So now everyone's getting ready for dinner and they're setting up a casino night and everything. And the fish is coming out and everything. Everything looks like really good. And the mom is like, so, Captain, today lunch on the beach, we had four meats.What an amazing chef. Also, my daughter narrowly escaped death when a coconut almost hit her on her head. And we're like, next time, tree, try better next time. I'm just joking, sweetie.
Speaker 93515.3s - 3518.76s
It was a hybrid coconut. No, honey.
Speaker 103519.02s - 3520.12s
The trees are hybrids.
Speaker 73520.2s - 3520.88s
Just be quiet.
Speaker 103521.36s - 3521.72s
Please.
Speaker 73522.56s - 3525.3s
So he's plating the grilled octopus,
Speaker 103525.54s - 3528.4s
and he does like a purple smear of something. I don't know what it was.
Speaker 03528.4s - 3529.18s
It was very pretty,
Speaker 83529.28s - 3533.44s
and I think he's doing it to try and please Frasor ORG and fucking Paris
Speaker 03533.44s - 3535.64s
because he's like making it colorful,
Speaker 103536.14s - 3553.98s
and I don't know. He seems to be making some kind of effort here. I mean, I think his food does all look decent, actually, but it looks really pretty. So Paris and Fraser PERSON are looking at it, like, can you believe this disgusting, non-artful food? And Paris goes, actually. But it looks really pretty. So Paris and Fraser PERSON are looking at it, like, can you believe this disgustingnon-artful food? And Paris goes, definitely needs a drizzle. Oh, God, I can't. I'm, like, about to freak out for him. I want to hate
Speaker 03553.98s - 3556.08s
the chef, not you. Please stop messing
Speaker 73556.08s - 3567.98s
with my brain. He's like, I don't have the time of the patients right now for Paris GPE's shit, and it feels like she's trying to take control the galley. It's not her job. She's like, do a little grain drizzle for me. How little drizzle?
Speaker 83567.98s - 3575.42s
Can we have a little drizzle place? Come on a little extra drizzle place. Little drizzle. Little drizzle. A little dottering in the size. It's a little drizzle.
Speaker 73576.06s - 3584.9s
So he's like, if the garnish doesn't make sense with the dish, it's going to look weird. I don't tell you how to scrub toilets at the end of the day. Stick to that. So.
Speaker 103587.56s - 3592.36s
Now you remember when this happened on below deck down under, when Boston chef told Aisha this, pretty much the same thing,
Speaker 73594.8s - 3608.56s
I want Philly Chef PERSON, I wanted to murder him. In this case, I'm like, okay, well, I'm kind of on your side this time, and I hate that. I am more on his side, but I still don't love when chefs say this. I don't tell you how to scrub toilets, because I do think it's actually so rude to do it, even when you're in the right.
Speaker 103609.74s - 3610s
But he does do the drizzle.
Speaker 73610.84s - 3611.48s
He's being pushed.
Speaker 103613.96s - 3631.4s
And he's not saying it to her. You know what I mean? The other chef was saying it to Aisha. He was like, your job is shit, where this guy is, like, trying to be nice to her face and then saying it all behind her back on the camera to stay professional i guess now we've already seen him be a total pig with her um last week when he was like
Speaker 93631.4s - 3636.54s
him a third not i guess they're my third favorites do or like don't be careful with that manas you
Speaker 73636.54s - 3641.64s
don't want to get fat or whatever that that wrong don't blame don't you only have yourself to blame
Speaker 93641.64s - 3647.6s
um so this is just a reminder basically that even terrible people can be right occasionally,
Speaker 73648s - 3651s
and you don't have to get a phone finger to celebrate them, you know what I mean?
Speaker 103651.5s - 3653s
A broken clack is right twice a day.
Speaker 73653s - 3677.24s
Well, here's, the thing is this, is that he ultimately does the green drizzle, and it looks fine, honestly. I really didn't, I was ready to be like, oh, it looks so garish. It actually looks nice. And then I'm like, really, they were really arguing over this. oh, it looks so garish. It actually looks nice. And then I'm like, really, they were really arguing over this. Like, it would have looked fine without it.It looked fine with it. I couldn't even tell if I liked it more or less. But I just couldn't believe they were having a whole fight over it ultimately.
Speaker 103677.24s - 3689.96s
Well, it's just the overstepping and the constant trying to undermine him for no reason and fucking with him. You know, like, what do you? It's not really about the green. It's that the stuff never needed the garnish in the first place.
Speaker 73693.88s - 3711.54s
It's all from Fraser PERSON's crazy little head because he needs to assert some fucking power. It's just weird. Yeah. I think that, like, Nick is just sort of the guy that, like, in Fraser PERSON's past, Fraser's been tormented by guys like Nick PERSON or just resents people like Nick. So as soon as he sees Nick, he profiles him in a certain category and is already like, walls are up.Walls are up.
Speaker 103711.84s - 3716.06s
I think he's just that kind of guy who needs conflict constantly at work to make him feel
Speaker 73716.06s - 3767s
like he's good at his job. If he's just that kind of person who's always complaining about how terrible other people are at their job because it makes him, it elevates him in some way. He's done it with an employee. He's never had a moment on this show where he hasn't been talking like this about somebody else.It's always somebody else sucks at their job and they're not listening to me and they would be so much better if they just listen to me. It's a big fault if you're gonna be a leader. He's not great at it, but I kind of do, you know, just because I'm shitting on him constantly, I do kind of like in a way that we're watching someone get trained because Captain Kerry PERSON is pretty good at training him.Like he tells him flat out what he's missing. And so maybe he'll get really good at it eventually, you know, but right now. Maybe, but next season I demand Faye PERSON to come back. No, he's back for next season. Already? Yeah.Why can we not get Faye again? Why is it so hard? I know, but like the baby's got to. to come back. No, he's back for next season. Already? Yeah. Why can we not get Faye PERSON again?
Speaker 103767s - 3779s
Why is it so... I had a baby. She was out of here. I know, but the baby's gonna be like one and a half, so basically, like, it's independent. You can squeegee now. This baby has learned to squeegee.
Speaker 63779s - 3784s
Babies, if you're a baby, put your hair up, please. So...
Speaker 103784s - 3788.52s
I'll only come back on this boat if I can have my model photographer come with me.
Speaker 63789s - 3789.74s
His name is Baby.
Speaker 103790.52s - 3790.9s
Baby.
Speaker 63791.04s - 3797.04s
Before you go on service, baby, you need to have a full face of makeup and your hair set. Thank you. It's called Snivers PRODUCT.
Speaker 93797.74s - 3800.76s
Baby, would it kill you to just have a little eyeliner on?
Speaker 63801.42s - 3809.24s
Captain Gary, I'd be pleased to be your first due again, but you'll have to understand that my baby will have to be on board as well. Thank you.
Speaker 103809.24s - 3815.24s
Huge opportunity missed. I need Faye PERSON in my life constantly. I even love following her on Facebook.
Speaker 73815.24s - 3816.24s
She is.
Speaker 63816.24s - 3817.24s
Have a baby.
Speaker 73817.24s - 3820.24s
I love it.
Speaker 63820.24s - 3823.76s
No, I think that like Kay, Fay and Kate Chastain PERSON can babysit for each other.
Speaker 103823.76s - 3827.88s
So Faye, like, Kay can, like, Faye just drops off her baby with Kate PERSON.
Speaker 73828.4s - 3830.62s
Kate's got two babies now to take care of.
Speaker 103830.82s - 3832.26s
And then Faye PERSON does her thing.
Speaker 73832.44s - 3837.3s
And then Faye can take care of Kate PERSON's baby while Kate goes off on.
Speaker 103837.42s - 3839.8s
I mean, look, Kate PERSON was able to do the traitors.
Speaker 73840.4s - 3843.06s
Faye PERSON can do below deck, okay? Okay.
Speaker 103843.54s - 3843.8s
Yeah.
Speaker 73844.08s - 3849.46s
I'm with you. So whoever was babysitting for Kate, babysit for Faye PERSON can do below deck, okay? Okay, yeah, I'm with you. So whoever was babysitting for Kate, babysit for Faye PERSON.
Speaker 103852.64s - 3853.18s
Whoever needs to hear this, listen up.
Speaker 73855.16s - 3855.84s
Babies don't know you, okay?
Speaker 103857.28s - 3870.32s
Think of your first memory. I was at least two or three. I was sitting on an ironing board. My mom was chain smoking and talking on a corded orange phone or a corded yellow phone i remember that sitting on an ironing board that's my first memory do you think that that's like
Speaker 03870.32s - 3876.72s
a memory of great mothering no okay who sits their child on a fucking ironing board like seriously
Speaker 103877.68s - 3895.38s
but you know what that was i couldn't even resent her for it because i was only like two or three i mean i didn't she could have done anything she got she could have had me in a fucking washing machine before then and I wouldn't know the difference. Go live your life. Bravo ORG stars. Okay, drop that baby in the washing machine. Put the baby on an ironing board and go do, go do a season. We need you back, Faye PERSON.
Speaker 73896s - 3903.96s
Strap the baby to a C-Bob PRODUCT. Let it have fun out there on the waves while you go and serve mojitos. That's it. Totally. Bring back Faye PERSON.
Speaker 103904.92s - 3905.72s
Hello there. This is a two-part recap. Okay. Totally. Bring back, Faye PERSON. Hello there.
Speaker 73905.88s - 3908.1s
This is a two-part recap, okay?
Speaker 103908.22s - 3914.52s
This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.
Speaker 73915.56s - 3920.76s
Watch what crappins PERSON would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.
Speaker 103920.98s - 3923.42s
Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.
Speaker 73923.78s - 3935.96s
Strolling the park with Caitlin Clark PERSON. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela PERSON. Hitchells. Aaron McNeacillus PERSON. She don't miss no trickleys. She's never scary. It's the green fairy. Jamie PERSON, she has no less namey.
Speaker 103936.2s - 3942.5s
Hava Nigelah Weber PERSON. Know your worth with Jason Curth PERSON. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch PERSON.
Speaker 73942.7s - 3944.68s
She's always supplying. It's Kelly Ryan PERSON.
Speaker 103944.88s - 3946.36s
Speaker 73947.08s - 3949.44s
Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino PERSON.
Speaker 103950.12s - 3960.42s
We want to hang with Liz Lang PERSON. Megan Berg PERSON. You can't have a burger without the burg. The Bay Area Betches ORG, Betches. And our super premium sponsors.
Speaker 73960.94s - 3963.38s
Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD PERSON.
Speaker 103963.68s - 3975.32s
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva PERSON. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill PERSON. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper PERSON. Can't have a meal without the Emily PERSON sides. We for Ava PERSON love Ava.
Speaker 73975.72s - 3990.4s
Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall PERSON. We got our wish. It's Jen Plish PERSON. She's not harsh. She's Jill Hirsch PERSON. She's a little bit loony. Junie PERSON. My favorite Murdo PERSON, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly. She's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Junie. My favorite Murdo.Karen McMurdo. We love him madly. It's Kyle Pod Chadley PERSON.
Speaker 103992.5s - 3995.6s
Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender PERSON. The incredible edible Matthews PERSON sisters.
Speaker 73997s - 4006.88s
Give him hell, Miss Noel. Ring that bell for Rochelle PERSON. She's the Queen B. It's Sarah Lemke PERSON. Shannon, out of a can, Anthony PERSON. Let's take off with Tamla Plain PERSON.
Speaker 104009.06s - 4009.82s
She ain't no shrinking Violet Coutar PERSON.
Speaker 74011.44s - 4028.88s
We love you guys. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappins, ad free on Amazon Music ORG. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen ad free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast. Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com ORG slash survey.
Speaker 14029.88s - 4051.92s
I'm Shimon Liai, and I have a new podcast called The Competition WORK_OF_ART. Every year, 50 high school senior girls compete in a massive scholarship competition. I wouldn't say I have an ego problem, but I'm extremely competitive. All of the competitors are used to being the best and the brightest, and they're all vying for a huge cash prize.
Speaker 44052.24s - 4054.96s
This will probably be the most intense that you've ever gone through in your life.
Speaker 14055.22s - 4088.7s
I remember that feeling, because I was one of them. I lost. But now, I'm coming back as a judge, and also a kind of teen girl anthropologist. Because if you want to understand what it's like to be a young woman in America today, the competition's not a bad place to start.Hopefully no one will die on station night. From Pineapple Street Studios and Wondry ORG. This is the competition. Follow the competition on the Wondry ORG app or wherever you get your podcast. You can listen to the competition early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus ORG.
Speaker 44089.84s - 4141.22s
I'm Elena, an autopsy technician. And I'm Ash PERSON, a hairstylist. And we just love swapping stories about all of the morbid things that fascinate us. And if you do too, join us on our podcast, Morbid WORK_OF_ART. It's a safe space to let your weirdo flag fly. On Morbid WORK_OF_ART, we cover dark historical events, sinister science, unnerving paranormal events,and sordid high society murders. We also dive deep into the most notorious crimes in history. Our podcast is grounded in rigorous and painstaking research. We're also not afraid to read a a f***. We keep it weird because a dash of snark is necessary to get through grotesque true tales of demented minds. So follow Morbid on the Wondery ORG app or wherever you get your podcasts.You can listen to Morbid WORK_OF_ART, early, and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus ORG.