If you don’t change these 6 things, you will not succeed long term

If you don’t change these 6 things, you will not succeed long term

by Chris Terrell

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About This Episode

24:45 minutes

published 1 month ago

English

Chris Terrell

Speaker 00s - 1419.68s

I would like to welcome you to a special episode of the Chris Terrell podcast. This is not actually the first time I've done this. I'm now beginning to see. I think this is going to happen again. I am here this time in Atlanta to meet up with several members from my Guild, the Guild of Champions, which is my weight loss community. And we're going to have another live event. We're going to have a workshop. We're going to have a bunch of us are going to go do a tough mutter together, a 5K, which so many of you listening right now, you might be thinking, well, gosh, that doesn'tsound like fun. I don't know that I could ever do that. Trust me, you'd be amazed at how much you're capable of doing. But we actually have a lot of people. They just walk it with us. Several people, they don't even do the obstacles.But it's always fun and exciting to see people push their limits and better their best. And I'm here at another one of these events where I get to watch people better their best, and I couldn't be more excited about it. Now, I had brought podcast recording equipment, brought my whole thing, and I go to unpack it this morning, and wouldn't you know it, I forgot two cables that are really important,and the amount of time it would take me to procure those cables would be a pain of the butt. So as a result, I am now sitting here working the problem, doing what I can do. I'm talking on a Lavalier bike to my camera, to my phone. I figured out for the first time how to hook this up to my phone. And I am going to talk to you about weight loss today, as I do every week. But it's a little more casual, a little more informal than I normally do this here. But I don't want this to be the casualness of the vibe of this episode.I don't want it to detract from what it is that I want to talk to you about today. If you listen to the other episodes, with the exception of today and a handful of others, at least in recently, my introduction has become more repetitive. You might have actually noticed it. And what I wanted to do was to deconstruct my introduction and talk to you a little bit about it because everything I say in that introduction is important. And I do it for a reason.Now, let me go ahead and quickly tell you why I'm doing it the way I'm doing it. Just how you know, I figure I could do it over, I could do it like sneakily behind the scenes and not tell you, but I'm actually coaching you with my introduction. I'm utilizing marketing tactics, but I'm utilizing it to your benefit. One of the things that works with humans that causes us to change is repetition of ideas. Repeatedly hearing a new concept over and over and over and over again will begin to alter how you think and feel. And you'll begin to have those words get stuck in your head.And so when I say to you, welcome to another week of your weight loss quest. It is me reminding you it's just another week. Just another week. And I immediately followed up with, what new challenges did you encounter? What new failures did you overcome?And the reason why I say that, each and every single week, is because I'm expecting that every week you are going to come across a challenge. You're going to encounter something that is going to make your journey, your quest to obtain the body and life of your dreams difficult. You're going to find that.I expect that you do. If you don't, I'm going to question if you're actually pushing hard enough. I once thought that I shouldn't have challenges, that if I was having challenges, it meant I was maybe doing too much or maybe doing the wrong things. I've now come to realize that challenges are actually the very thing I'm looking for. It lets me know I'm pushing.I'm growing. I'm putting myself in uncomfortable situations. And also, I'm just putting myself in opportunities where life can just show up. Life has a way of giving us challenges, sometimes against our will. And so what I wanted to do is remind you each and every single week that you're going to have challenges.One of the first things I want to say in every single episode to you is you're going to have challenges. If you don't have challenges, you're hiding from life or you're not a part of it or you're dead. We all have challenges. It's a normal part of this. And if you're going't have challenges, you're hiding from life or you're not a part of it or you're dead. We all have challenges. It's a normal part of this.And if you're going to have challenges, you're, of course, going to experience failure. You're going to experience failure. I'm expecting that you're going to experience failure over the course of your journey. That's the expectation is failure. Now, one of the things that many of us have to work through, I myself included, and there's no exemption to this,we have to work through our relationship with failure. If I rewind the clock to myself many years ago, I had a pretty dysfunctional relationship with failure. I encountered it a lot, sure, and at work I did okay with it, but boy, boy, was I ever hard on myself every time I encountered failure and at work I learned how to have a healthy mindset about itish kind of sort of but in my personal life no no no no no no no I had a really bad relationship with failure and so what I want to though, is drive the same lesson into you that my father was always driving into my mind, which is that failure is nothing more than a teaching, a learning opportunity. And in the intro, that is why I say, what new failures did you encounter? But more importantly, what new lessons did you get from that failure? Come on now. Don't let a perfectly good failure go by without getting a lesson.That is your reward for your troubles. A failure and challenges are going to cause troubles in your life. That's usually the case. You did something wrong and now you've got to put the pieces back together. You made a mistake and you missed an opportunity that now you've got to overcome. You said something wrong, put your foot in your mouth, and now you got to go say,I'm sorry. You ate too much one day and now you got to compensate to make the math work out. But every single failure within it and its core is a unique lesson Taylor made just for you in that experience. Every single failure. That's what's waiting for you. And I see so many people encounter a failure and then move on from it. Let the failure come in and wreak all sorts of havoc in their life. Let the failure wreak havoc in their emotions. And then they move on for it.Pretend it didn't happen. You know, I'm just getting through it. I'm just going to ignore it. It's like, no. Turn around and look at it. Because there is a lesson in that failure.That is your reward. You have just gone through all this headache in the form of the failure. Go get your lesson as your prize. You've worked for it. You deserve it. It is what you get for your troubles.Because you're going to have the troubles anyway. So if you're going to have them anyway, why not? Why not get your reward? So you have something to show for the failure. That's what I want you to have and that's what I used to struggle with. I would go through failure after failure after failure and I'd have nothing to show for it except failures and no lessons.But on my weight loss journey, I started looking at my failures as teaching moments. I'd get knocked down, have to pick myself up, knock the dust off, look at the lessons and go, all right, let's not do that again. And from there, though, I don't stop there. I say, now if you're new here, I've lost 125 pounds myself after an entire adulthood of chronic yo-yo dieting. Up, down, up, down, up, down again.And I emphasize the down again, because that's how this ends. Your yo-yo dieting journey is going to end with you going down again. One final time you're going to go down. For the last time, you're going to peel all this weight off your body, never again to put it back on your body. Up down, up, down, up, down again,before I finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired. The reason why I include that is because pain as a motivator is an important part of the process. You must have some sort of hell or pain that's going to come into your life in your mind as a result of not progressing, of not moving forward. You need to have a pleasure. You need to have a why, a motive, something positive waiting for you on the other side of the forward. You need to have a pleasure. You need to have a why, a motive,something positive waiting for you on the other side of the journey. You need to have that. That is so important that you have that. However, it is not enough to just have that. To create change, you must also desire, in addition to desiring to go to something,you must simultaneously desire to let go of that which you already have. And in my case, I was getting sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was constantly tired, constantly. It seemed like I could never get ahead of my tiredness. And I was sick all the time. Let me tell you, I don't get sick that often anymore. I used to get sick regularly. I rarely get sick now. Go figure. When you take care of yourself, when you take care of your mind, when you take care of your body, you get sickless. Often, I so get sick. And it's not like it's a cure-all for everything. But the sniffles, I just don't get them as much as I used to. I just don't get them as much as I used to. I just don't get them as much as I used to. I also was just always tired from lugging around that extra weight on my body, in addition to being chronically out of shape, and in addition to not being right in my mind and in my heart,this would often leave me exhausted and fatigued. And I just got tired of it. And I hope that you look around in your life. I truly hope those of you in the beginning you haven't started yet. Maybe you're just listening to the podcast for the first time. I want you to look around your life.Look around and be like, I've had it. I've done with this. No more. I'm sick and tired of being trapped into a chair by my body because it's too hard to do anything else. I'm done. I need you to feel this, this never again moment.Never again. Many of you listening, you've had these moments. Maybe you're in a relationship and you were in it for far longer than you should have been. And then finally something happened. You're like, that's it. No more.I'm out of this relationship. You just made a decision that you were done with what you had. You were over it. No more. I'm out of this relationship. You just made a decision that you were done with what you had. You were over it. I want you to have the same thing with your body. Many of you have had this same thing with a job. You're in a job far longer than you should have been there for until finally something happens. You're like, that's it. Never again. I'm getting out of this job. I don't care what it takes. I am getting away from here. And this drives you to change. And I need you tohave this. You got to look around your life and go, I'm unhappy with this, this, this, this and this, and then change it. And I give you the answer to what to look to in the intro every single week. I'm finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired. So I made some permanent, meaningful, and actual changes to mine I'm going to lead into. But permanent forever. You've got to make permanent changes. A long-term solution, or sorry, a long-term change is going to require a long-term solution.If you want permanent results, you have to make permanent changes. And if you want to do it, you have to do it to your actual life. Far too often, we go to change the polished version of our life. We go try to change the parts that we let everybody else see. Even when we're quiet, alone, by ourselves late at night, everybody's gone to bed. It's just you in the TV or you in the video game or you and your phone or just youand your thoughts, whatever, and you're going and you're getting the food. That's the moment. You've got to actually change yourself when you're by yourself when no one can see to your actual lifestyle, to the stuff that you don't think can change. You've got to change that stuff. The unchangeable might need to be changed.The unchangeable might need to be altered. The unchangeable might need to be gotten rid of. The indispensable might need to be disposed of just maybe. And you got to relook at every part of your life. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired and I made some permanent, meaningful, and actual changes to my baseline, all the time, my normal, my foundation, not the alternative one when I'm doing a push. No, I'm talking about I'm making changes to mylifestyle that include when I am tired and stressed because I just got bad news because I just found out I'm sick because I just found out that something's happening to a family member to I just found out I'm losing my job and I don't know what I'm going to do about money to when I just found out that I walked outside and the yard is like way longer than it needs to be and it's like, wow, I really didn't want to deal with that. Or when your air conditioner unit just goes out, you know, in these moments, these moments of stress,you can't turn to food. And you can't just vanish into a video game or a TV show or doom scrolling every time that happens. You've got to turn around and face your problems and deal with them. Because those are what's compelling it emotionally anyway.But I lead from there to go, I made some permanent, meaningful, and actual changes to my lifestyle, to my habits, to my routines, to my community, to my environment, and to my system of beliefs. I give you six things, six spheres of influence. And the reason why I give you these six spheres of influence is because they all create you and you create them. Your mind will influence the world that you live in and the world that you live in will influence your mind.Your lifestyle, this is what you choose to do, the way you live your life. The way you choose to live your life is going to dictate the kind of body you have. If you want to have the lifestyle of a foodie that goes out to eat all the time that loves to sit around and binge watch TV shows that loves to go out for a happy hour and get drinks with your buddies and sit around,you are going to look like someone that does those things, especially if the rest of that lifestyle doesn't include exercise, doesn't include monitoring what you eat when you're not around all these people and doesn't include you doing anything but sitting around, live in that chair to chair to chair to chair lifestyle. If you live a chair to chair to chair lifestyle, you're going to look like someone that does.And especially if your lifestyle also includes food. You must look at the lifestyle. If don't change the results without changing your lifestyle, that's why I say this every single week in the beginning of the podcast, you must look at your lifestyle and go, is the lifestyle I'm living congruent with the body that I want? And if it's not, you either got to change the body you want to be a different body, or you've got to change your lifestyle. Now, I also tell you got to change your habits becausea lifestyle has a bunch of habits in it. You're going to create these habits to make it easy to participate in your lifestyle. If you have a lifestyle of going to see the movies every week, you are more than likely going to create a habit of checking the movie times. That's what I used to do. I used to regularly check the movie times every week to see what was coming out the following week so I could order ahead of time my favorite seats in my favorite movie theater. I had the habit of doing it. I also had routines, which is just a collection of habits strung together.I had my Wednesday habit where I would, or my Thursday habit, I would leave from the office, go right home, and then immediately turn around, go to the movie theater, or sorry, go out to eat dinner at a restaurant, and then rush over to the movie theater, watch a movie, get my popcorn after I just had a whole dinner, get my dessert at the thing that wasn't the popcorn.Maybe I just, maybe this week I decided to do a pretzel with cheese dip in addition to my popcorn. Do that and then go home, play some video games, and probably even have a few more snacks. That was my routines filled with habits within there to make it easy. If you want to change your results, you need to look at your habits and routines and see, are these compatible with the resultsthat I'd like to have? If you want to have a thin, in-shaped body, look at your lifestyle habits and routines. Do they match? Do they jive? I also mention the community. You will hang out with peoplethat you like hanging out with, and birds of a feather flock together. If you run around with losers, you're going to end up a loser. If you run around with a bunch of people that are overweight all the time, you're going to end up overweight. If you run out with a bunch of broke people all the time, you're going to end up broke.And here's the beauty. This all works the other way. You start running around hanging out with a bunch of people that make money. You're going to start making more money. Why? Because you're going to pick up ideas from them. They're going to look at your situation when you're venting about something.They're going to be like, yo, that is a dumb way of doing it. Why are you doing it that way? You know, hey, Steve, why are you doing that? That's a dumb choice. I do it this way. This would work out so much better and actually get you what you want. Because you'll find the community, if you go into a community that has the results that you want that you don't have, community, if you go into a community that has the results that you want that you don't have, you'll see you disagree with them a lot. You'll see they'll handle things in a way that you wouldn't handle them because you're trying to live a different life than them. And only one of twothings is going to change. Either you're going to change or you're going to break away from the community because the odds of you changing an entire community are low. You can change yourself and then go find the community that matches who it is you wish to be. The people you surround yourself affect you. And it is not just your friends and your coworkers. It's your spouse.It's your parents. It's your siblings. It's your kids. It's your extended family. It's your neighbors. It's the whole world around you.And make no mistake. When you go to change, when you set out to change yourself, your community is going to let you know what they think about it. And if your community doesn't like how you're approaching food, they're going to start telling you about it. You know, I found the biggest, the most hate and resistance and problems I got were from other overweight people trying to keep me overweight becausethey were trying to tell me how what I was going to do wasn't going to work. Or how what I was doing was wrong. Or don't you think, Chris, aren't you trading one obsession for another? Aren't you getting too thin? Maybe this is being a little disorder. You know, one won't hurt. Why don't you just have a little bit?It's just a barbecue. Come on, don't be so restrictive on yourself. You can have a burger at a barbecue. And again, all of these things are true. I'm not going to sit here and refute them all. The challenge is, is I will one time decide I'm going to not havesomething, and then you'll find that everybody wants to say something. I'm like, I didn't say I'm giving up burgers at barbecues forever. I said I'm giving up burgers at barbecue tonight. Tonight. Why do you got to comment on it? And I quickly learned, by the way, when you're changing, you'll need to tell your community about everything you're doing. You just don't. And contrary to popular belief, you don't need to tell your parents everything that's going on in your life. I mean, when you're a kid, sure, but when you're an adult, no,you don't have to tell them everything's going on your life. You can't have to tell your kids everything going on. You can't tell your family and your friends. This is your life. The only people that you need to tell people things about in your life are people that you want to tell. And you should only tell people that are supportive. Far too often, we're going around to a community that trying to get them to support us. And when they don't support us,rather than us saying, well, screw you, a community, we try to change ourselves because it is such a human thing to want to connect. I have tried to just override this part of myself. This need to be a part of a community. I've tried.I can't. So what I've discovered is if you can't beat them, join them. When in Rome, right? So utilize this pathway. The community's tremendous power to keep you stuck. You can use the community's tremendous power to create change within you. And so you must begin hanging out and associating with and talking to different people in your life. Different people in your life.Many folks are alcoholics know this. They got to stop hanging out with their drinking buddies. Well, guess what? Some of y'all, I don't know who you are. You're going to have to stop hanging out with your eating buddies. Some of y'all, you got people, the way y'all solve your problems is to eat and drink it away.And you should have to stop that. Some of your friends, you're just going to realize when you stop going to hang out and eat and drink, you don't actually, and to vent about life, you don't actually have that. Some of your friends, you're just going to realize when you stop going to hang out and eat and drink, you don't actually, and to vent about life, you don't actually have that much to hang out with them about. But this also leads to the next thing, your environment. You are a byproduct of your environment, and your environment is a byproduct of you.They serve together. You didn't pick where you were born. You inherited things about how you chose to live your life that were seeped into you from your environment that you didn't pick because you didn't pick where you were born and raised. However, you generally, most of you're old enough now, you get to pick what your home is like. You get to pick what happens inside there. You get to pick what happens in your bedroom. You get to pick what happens in your car. These are your environments that you get to shape. The physical world around you also, though, includes people in it.So you've got to look at this environment. Does this environment allow the people in it that you want to have in it? And does it push out the people that you don't want to have in it? Your environment makes a difference. And the last thing that I say of the six, the six spheres of influence, is your belief systems. Because the beliefs you hold and the logic that goes with that beliefswill dictate how you do things. If you believe that bread is bad and the eating bread makes you fat, when you eat bread, your brain will fire off that belief. And now you're sitting here saying, well, I'm choosing to be big because I'm eating bread, even though that's all just completely false, by the way, that's not true at all. And yet some of you believe that. I used to believe that. Your beliefs impact your choices.So if you believe that bread is bad, you now go into this turmoil every time you have a sandwich. That's no good. You might have this belief about yourself that you can't lose weight and have some sugar. You might believe that you have to be this all or nothing, black and white person, and as a result, you engage in the very behavior that creates a binge cycle, that creates a relapse cycle because you possess the belief in yourself that you cannot have any sugar at all and you have to go completely abstinent. Otherwise, you're going to losecontrol. That's just a belief, a belief about yourself and a belief about the kind of life that you're going to live. Sometimes you have beliefs about facts that you think are facts. Look, there's a difference between being right and knowing the truth. Those aren't always the same thing. Some of you, you're right, but you're wrong. And then you're right. You found a way of logic. If you sit down and explain it, it's like, okay, I see how you believe what you believe about, let's say, sugar, but you're actually false. It doesn't work the waythat you think it does. Your belief systems includes everything you know. I want you to consider this for a moment. Everything you know, you were told by somebody else, or you learned it through one of your senses, and you are biased. So your senses aren't completely unbiased. Everything you learn has been run through a filter, multiple filters. And so sometimes you were handed the truth, but your own internal beliefs caused you to alter the truth as you heard it. Because humans are capable of altering things as we hear them, choosing which words we focus onand choosing which words we let slip out of our minds. Your belief system will impact how you live your life because it's going to impact every single choice you make. Now all of these, the lifestyle habits, or teens, your community environment belief systems, all six of these are interconnected.They impact each other. And all of them are interconnected with you. You impact them. They impact you. It is a two-way street. And I introduced this at the beginning of every single podcast, with exception of today, because this is one of the most important concepts to understand. And I need you to just have it bored deep into your mind that if you want to change your body and your life permanently you must make permanent changes to your actual lifestyle habits routines to your community environment and system of beliefs and it is going to

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take time to make changes to all of those and that is why I'm here this week with those of my community in the Guild. Here, we are here to challenge our beliefs. We are here to create new community bonds, to feel that encouragement and support that comes from a community,to encourage us to do things we might otherwise not have done on our own. We're here to swap ideas about our lifestyle, about our habits and about our routines. We're here to talk about our environments. We're here to swap ideas about our lifestyle, about our habits, about our routines. We're here to talk about our environments.We're here to be in an entirely different environment. To go up to an obstacle and say, all right, take a look at it.

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Are you going to try? What have you got inside? Let's find out. That's what we're here for. We're here to help each other out to change ourselves and to change each other and to help us all move closer and closer and closer to the body and life of our dreams. Thanks so much for listening to the podcast this week.I'll be back to my normal studio back at the headquarters of the Guild of Champions, but today I'm out in the field with the Guild of Champions. I look forward to seeing you next week on the Chris Terrell podcast. Talk soon.