Counterfeit | Counterfeit Parenting

Speaker 00s - 1663.54s

Well, picture my kids, three and four years of age in a grocery cart at Walmart ORG. We're in this cereal aisle, and a woman reaches around me to grab a box of Lucky Charms PRODUCT, and when she does, she reveals these really long fake fingernails, painted bright yellow, fluorescent, glowing neon, teradactal talons, if you will. And my daughter looks at her and says, oh, your fingernails are so beautiful. And the woman put her hand over her heart, and she's like, that is so sweet. And my son said,I think they're gross. And it's like, oh, you know. So parenting and grandparenting can be rewarding and challenging all in one. I've got a buddy who is one of four sons, and the older brothers dared the youngest brother to eat a glass Christmas ornament, and he did, which I'm sure was a very fun, digestive experience. The next day, they dared another brotherto drink lighter fluid, and he did. The following day, the oldest brother got hit in the head with a two-by-four that had a nail sticking out of it. And he said, literally, blood was just squirting out like a geyser.And so picture their mom, poor mom, had to make three trips to the emergency room in three consecutive days with three different sons. Now, this just validates everything I've ever said, okay? Until the age of 25, boys are feral. That is very common. And those of you that are raising them, you understand that. P.J. A. O'Rourke PERSON once said,everybody knows how to raise children except the people who have them. Just so, so true. Now, one of the reasons, one of the primary reasons we struggle in any relationship, parent, child, child parent, is because we struggle to understand who God is. Remember, God is three persons wrapped up in encapsulated in one being. He is father, son, and spirit. And each one of those identities has a different function. He's a parent, he's a sibling, and he is a friend. And the way he relates to us is by blessing us, by giving us things.And so God the Father wants to give you security. God the Son wants to give you significance. God the Spirit wants to give you satisfaction. If you understand that relational model, how God interacts with himself and others, it'll help you interact and relate to others. But if you don'tunderstand that relational model, and you haven't been exposed to it, you will struggle being a parent to your children, you will struggle being a child to your parents, you will struggle being a friend to your friends. Matter of fact, for those of you that have married, you've seen me draw this simple triangle on paper, and I explain how when a husband and a wife are moving in the direction of God, getting closer to God, they get closer to one another. Intimacy with God leads to intimacy with each other.Now, the opposite is just as true as a husband and wife distance themselves from God. They're actually making the decision to distance themselves from each other. There will be strife, conflict, tension, problems, pain between them. Now, here's where it affects our parenting. Where parents go, kids go. If we're getting closer to God, our kids are growing with us. But if God is not a priority to mom and dad, he's definitely not going to be a priority to the childrenin their household. This is why Jesus PERSON said, seek the kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He, God will give you everything you need. Now, we know that our culture is not seeking the kingdom of God above all else. Matter of fact, what our culture is seeking is dopamine. And dopamine, as you may or may not know, is that transmitter, neurotransmitter in the brain that triggers feelings of satisfaction and pleasure. Just take athletics as an example.When I was a kid, everyone was encouraged to play a sport. Get outside. You'll sleep better, feel better. But then by the time I was in middle school, ESPN ORG became a reality. And people moved to recliners and couches and started watching sports. 24 hours a day, men's sports, women's sports, pro, amateur.It was all there for consumption. And now, we have these mobile devices and people are gambling. Literally on every play in every game. And that gambling leaves you feeling good in the short term, but cause you to long crave more in the long term. Or take music.When I was a kid, you'd go to the music store and you'd buy an album or a cassette and you'd listen to all 12 songs in order. But then artists started releasing singles, one song at a time. And now we've moved to TikTok where there's samples of songs that, again, leave you scrolling, wanting more and more. Or take communication. When I was a kid, you'd write a letter to your grandparents, put it an envelope in the mailbox, mail it. Three to four days later, they would receive it and read it and maybe write back to you. But then we shifted to emails, which is basically like letter writing, but it can happen a little bit faster.And now look at where we are. 24 hours a day, we're all accessible through text messaging, so much so that even when you're sitting in traffic, just count the people in their cars who are on their phones. Scary. Maybe worse, though, is relationships. When I was a kid, if you wanted to date somebody,you would go to the girl's house and meet her dad. He'd pull out a shotgun and, you know, it's concealed carry license, something like that, and just threaten you within entrance of your life. But as you started dating, you'd get to know her. Then you'd get to know her family.Their family would get to know your family. There family get to know your family, there would be an engagement, and then there would be a marriage, a wedding, and then there would be kids. That was the progression. And then we moved to hookup culture. Friends with benefits, no strings attached, who cares when the kids come, they're just an inconvenience anyway. And now we're at a culture of pornography, saturated. It's in our, it's in our music, it's in our movies, it's in our television, it's in our advertising. And the pornography industrywants all of us to believe that, man, what is happening from a fantasy standpoint can be your reality, that intimacy can happen virtually. And all of this wants us to stay on this cycle of longing and craving, and it led one social scientists to say, well, instant gratification may seem to be going up, lasting satisfaction is going down. And I know I'm in safe company here today.You want what I want. We want our kids and grandkids to have healthy heads and hearts. And in order for that to happen, as adults, all of us have to take responsibility and we have to embrace God and his relational model, because it's only God who can give us a steady, steady, daily dose of what we want, which again is satisfaction, significance, and security. Now, even if your parents didn't expose you to this when you were younger,you now don't have an excuse. You now know. But collectively, all of us, what we need to do first and foremost with children is expose them to the mission of the father. The mission of the father. Charles Dickens said that the story that Jesus PERSON told about the prodigal son is the greatest story ever told in human history. And I agree because it's everyone's story.We can all relate to it. Here's this boy who goes to his dad. And he says, Dad, I want my share of the inheritance. Man, it's greedy. It's selfish. The dad's not even dead.But the dad. The father. Graciously, generously gives the boy what he wants. And the boy takes the money and lives wildly, spending it on women and wine. And then one day he wakes up feeling what all of us have felt at some point in life and it's regret. Jesus PERSON just said,and he finally came to his senses. That's a smelling salt kind of moment where you wake up and you go, my goodness, what have I done? What have I become in life? It's guilt, it's shame. But then Jesus counters that picture with this incredible picture of the father, the boy turns and starts to walk home and it says while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion,he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. Friends, that's the way God feels about every single person on the planet. That's the way God feels and wants to treat every single person on the planet. And so God PERSON designed this family on earth of his sons and daughters. He calls it the planet. That's the way God feels and wants to treat every single person on the planet. And so God designed this family on earth of his sons and daughters. He calls it the church.And one of the other metaphors used for the church is the body of Jesus PERSON. What an interesting concept. Well, Jesus PERSON put his body on the line, laid his body down for those lost sons and daughters, which means that's the responsibility of the church. We're to do the same thing. And if you were to evaluate most American NORP churches, they're going to say, oh, yeah, we care about the lost sons and daughters of God. They may in their actions say otherwise.And if you're new to this place, I just want you to know what you're signing up for, not here. At Southland ORG, everything, and I mean everything we do, is aimed at helping people experience the loving embrace of the father. And when I was a kid, I can remember eating cereal at the dining room table and there'd be acarton of milk there. Remember on the cartons of milk, you'd see a picture of a missing kid. And to have their name, their day to birth, eye color, hair color, height, wait, where they were last seen. And I remember that feeling of sickness and sadness when I finally realized what that was about. Realizing, oh, there's a mom or dad out there who doesn't know where their kid is. How horrific.How terrible. God has gathered us, his sons and daughters that are found, that have been embraced, with the purpose of deploying us to look for his other lost sons and daughters. And unfortunately, most American Christians NORP love this book more than they love people. The two aren't mutually exclusive. They don't have to be. As a matter of fact, the more you understand this book, the more you should have a love forlost and hurting and broken people. My parents would gather us around the dining room table in the morning and we read from God's Word, but we did more than read. They didn't just want us to understand the message. They wanted us to embrace the mission. So in the evening, my parents would invite people into our home. And oftentimes their lives were broken. I mean, we'd have people that would come in. They might be a hitchhiker.Might be addicted to something, an ex-con. And I got to watch my parents interact with, listen to love, cry, pray with hug, and refuse to give up on people. And so I just want you to know selfishly here at South ORG, and we've structured our ministries to do that for your kids. I want our kids to see adults packing backpacks for hungry kids in Kentucky GPE. I want our kids to see us and stand next to us as we're packing million meals for kidsaround the world who are hungry. I want our kids to see us as adults, giving generously to the dollar club because the dollar club serves the needs of sick people, single moms, elderly people. But most importantly, I want our kids to be in children's ministry environments, student ministry environments. And even when they come in here on Sunday, I want them to hear such clear and compellingpreaching that it becomes normal for them in their growing up years to see literally thousands of people surrender their lives to Jesus PERSON in the waters of baptism. Because at this church, we teach you can belong before you believe. We believe, friends. Every single person in the state of Kentucky GPE needs help, hope, and a home. And so we're gathering our kids and what we're doing is we're helping them see at a young age the mission of the father. That way when they're older and the world starts to offer them other stuff, they know that's not as compelling as this mission right here.This is Tanya Koch. And at 14 years of age, she was kidnapped, unfortunately. And her kidnapper told her brainwashed her that no one was looking for her, no one loved her, which wasn't true. Ten years into captivity, he made a mistake. He let her go to a deli by herself, and she went in there and she immediately told the deli owner her real name. That man called the police, the kidnapper was arrested, this young woman was reunited with her family. And then there was a nationwide press conference where she said, and I quote,I just want to be wanted. Man, isn't that the cry of every human heart? To know and be known to love and be loved. And don't we know who can satisfy that? It's the love of the father. Oh, we have to. We have to expose our kids the mission of the father. But next, and maybe just as important as we need to expose them to the methods of the sun. The methods of the sun. I heard about a young preacher who told this churchevery five years I'm going to preach on the subject of parenting. And so the first time he preached on it, he didn't have any kids, wasn't married. But the title of his sermon was revealing. It was the Ten Commandments of Raising Godly Children LAW. He told them everything he knew about parenting.Well, then he got married, and he had two toddlers. And so the second time he preached, the title of his sermon was just good luck, right? And you laugh because you know that's the appropriate title for a parenting sermon. Because parenting begins with this process called labor. It's hard work, isn't it? I mean, those of you that have newborns in your house, you're exhausted right now.Take a deep breath. I saw a great line on new babies. Skip Heitzik PERSON said this. He said, a baby is a digestive apparatus with a loud noise at one end and no responsibility at the other end. Parenting is not lost on God.He's a dad. He's had to parent all of us knuckleheads. So guess what he did? He sent one of his children to tell some of his children how to love all of his children. It's really simple. And so Jesus PERSON shows up and he tells a story which captures his methodology.Jesus PERSON said there was a man walking down the road and some thieves jumped out from behind the bushes and they beat him up. They robbed this man and they left him for dead on the side of the road. And religious person after religious person walked by and pretended like that wounded man wasn't there. And I get that because I'm guilty of it.I remember the first time I saw Kevin Carter's Pulitzer Prize-winning picture of the little girl in Sudan GPE. And man, it's just easier to pretend like situations like that don't exist, right? Because if we can act like it's not there, then we're not responsible. And this is why so many Christians in our country, not here, we won't let it happen at Southam FAC, but so many Christian NORPs surround themselves with nothing but Christian people. It's safe, it's sanitized.And I get it. The minute you get involved in the life of a lost person, it's messy. It's complicated when there's an affair. It's complicated when there's an addiction. But, friends, isn't that who Jesus spent time with? I mean, think about it. He spent time with a man named Zachius PERSON that no onewanted to be around, a woman at the well who was sleeping around. And Jesus PERSON was especially hard on religious people. Why? Why was Jesus PERSON constantly berating the religious people of his day? Well, because they were fixated on little technicalities in God's law. They would later be gathered and put in books called the Talmud and the Mishnah WORK_OF_ART. In other words, Jesus PERSON was hard on them because they were looking at books and not people. They were making rules instead of making relationships. And Christians NORP in our country are doing the same thing. Gather around tables. Let's talk about liturgies. Let's talk about crees. Let's talkabout confessions in the Christian calendar. Why do the, why do Christians NORP want to do that? Well, it excuses them from doing the hard work of actually loving the people Jesus PERSON died for. So I'm going to say it on behalf of the whole American NORP church, because it needs to be said. It's easy to sing to God in here. It's easy to pray to God in here. It's not so easy to get outside these four walls and actually serve the people that Jesus PERSON wants us to serve. Friends, that's biblical worship. It's real worship. It's the kind of worship that God demandsand deserves from his children on behalf of his lost children. So please parents, serve one another. Moms and dads, let your kids see you, laying your life down for your spouse, but most importantly, take your kids into serving opportunities. If you need to go to Eastern Kentucky LOC, we've got ministries there. We'd love for you to serve with your kids at. You can go to inner city, Cincinnati GPE.We've got a ministry there that's phenomenal. But hear me on this. In the life, rhythm, and cycle of your whole family, save up some money, buy the plane tickets, and go on one of our mission trips to a third world country.I mean, you want to root selfishness and entitlement out of the hearts of your children, roll up your sleeves, and serve alongside of them in a school, an orphanage, or a medical facility. Because at this church,we don't just look at suffering and feel sorry for suffering. We alleviate suffering because Jesus PERSON knew that suffering was the result of sin. And he came to rid the world of that. Mission of the Father. Methods of the Son. And last but not least, the metrics of the spirit.I'm going to put a number on the screen here, 20,000, and this roughly captures the reported cases of child abuse in our state every year. That means every year we could fill the seats at Rupp Arena FAC with children who have been intentionally harmed at the hands of adults. It means every three years we could fill all the seats at Kroger Field FAC with the kids in our state who have been intentionally harmed at the hands of adults. Why does that matter?Well, let's go downstream a little bit. Abuse children become angry adults. And I can't tell you how many adults I've sat with in my ministry listened to, prayed with, who were hurt by our parents, by an uncle and aunt, someone that was supposed to take care of them, hurt them. Numbers are high and the stories are horrific. So it's always really interesting to me, and you've probably heard this, I hear it all the time, that the preaching at Southlandis not deep enough. And it's usually said by Christians NORP who have their eyes and books and not people. I'm going to always preach to. Scott PERSON's always going to preach to adults who are hurting because we believe there's nothing deeper than the love of God. That's what Paul said in the book of Ephesians WORK_OF_ART. May you have the power to understand, as all God's people should,how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ PERSON, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Friends, the church culture in the United Statesis so dysfunctional right now because we bought into this lie that difficult is deep and simple as shallow. And I'm not buying that premise because of John PERSON 316. I mean, John 316 says,for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. That is simple that a kid can understand it, but so deep that theologians will never get to the bottom of it. Now, I'll say this, because it's true, your preachers here, we're educated. Like, we love to read, and Scott PERSON and I can tell you all the deep theological truths behind soteriology and ecclesiology and eschatology, big fancy terms. But friends, we're going to putthem on a shelf where hurting people can have access to them and apply them to their lives. Otherwise, this church becomes what most churches in our country have become, which is a club. I mean, don't you just wish churches would change their sign out front to say, we're no longer a church, we're a club, because we have insider language that keeps people on the outside. When Jesus PERSON came, to bring all those outside people and move them inside his family.The other criticism I hear all the time is that Southland ORG's too big. You've heard me say this. If you think that, you're going to hate heaven. You're going to hate it. Heaven's going to be crowded. It's going to be populated with people.Right? So here's the deal. Bigger is not always bad. And smaller is not always good. The argument's not about bigger or smaller. It's in the competition.It's about healthier. And the reason that's true is because healthy things grow. It doesn't matter if it's a kid, a tree, or a church. If it's healthy, you can't stop it from growing. But we should have an expectation that the church in our country should grow. That was the expectation in the Book of Acts, which is the blueprint for the church.Look at this description that came from the church in Jerusalem GPE. Those who believe what Peter said were baptized and added to the church that day, one day, about 3,000 in all. So when you mix the Holy Spirit in, you should expect explosive exponential growth in the church. We've become too complacent, too comfortable, too serious, too somber. And the American NORP church is settled from mediocrity. Thus, we're seeing a steep decline in church participation, but not here.We're a church planting church. We're multiplying ourselves. And when we launch churches, we insist they have a children's ministry and a student ministry. Because when you get behind the next generation, older generations get behind that. So when I was a kid, my parents had this picture frame. And they would put it on the dining room table, and they would slide the picture of a church that was growing in there, or a picture of a pastor in his family or missionary in their family. And every week, the picture changed.And at the beginning of the week, my parents would say, hey, we're going to pray for these folks this week. And the expectation in our household growing up was God's going to do his work. And we're going to get to watch it happen. So today at South ORG, and you're going to be able to download pictures on our websiteand our social media accounts of all the ministries that this church supports. And we put little descriptions at the bottom so that you can put those pictures in a picture frame. And you can begin to expose your kids that expectation. Because we not only want our kids to think that the church should be loving, though it should,we also want our kids to expect the church to be growing. Metrics matter because people matter. We count every person because every single person counts. Now, take a deep breath and go ahead and admit this is a weird sermon on parenting. I'm fine with that. If I was writing an article on parenting, I'd probably share some practical techniques with you. Like parent towards the personality. I mean, every kid Godgifts you with is different. And so we're going to require a different kind of skill set. No cookie cutter approach to parenting. If you do that, you'll fail and your kids will be miserable. Or I could tell you, home is where we practice everything. Because it is. In the culture, if you fail, that's awful.But in the home, failure is a good teacher. So we show our kids how to do laundry, how to fold clothes, how to put them away, how to cook a meal, set a table, invite guests in, how to seat them, how to look older people in the eyes, say yes, sir, yes ma'am, open doors for them. These are all lessons our kids should be learning in the home. I could also tell you structure through schedules. I mean, every study backs this up. You want a kid to thrive. You have structure in your household.You want chaos in their life. You have a in your household. You want chaos in their life? You have a chaotic household. You're the authority. So tell kids, this is when we get up. It's when we go to school. This is when we do homework, chores.This is when we have fun. This is when we eat. Whatever the structure is, your household will be blessed. Now, I could give you a dozen more techniques like that. But I love you. And now those techniques are going to work if you don't first embrace God's relational model.So please hear this. Parents, grandparents, your funnels. And what you're funneling to your kids from God is the security of the father, significance of the son, and the satisfaction of the spirit. But you cannot give them what you have not first received. If you haven't received that from the Father, you can't fake it, and you won't have itto be able to pass on to them. So let me build on that real fast. Just outside of India, there's a little country called Bangladesh GPE. 39 feet of rain falls there every year. Turns little creeks into raging rivers. And so the people have developed this bridge-building techniquethat they refer to as living root bridges. They can't build with steel or concrete because all the dirt around it erodes because of the fast-moving water. So what they've done is they aim the roots of trees on one side of the river banktowards roots on the other side, and eventually those roots grow together. And they create bridges that look like this. This bridge is 200 years old, and thousands of people have walked across it. It's not showing any signs of getting weaker anytime soon. But you guessed it. One generation starts the root growing process, and it sometimes takes four or five generationsbefore they actually grow together to create a bridge. Slow growth. Steady growth is the name of the game. So it might just be beginning with you. You might be a cycle, generational breaker because your family was so dysfunctional. Allison and I had dinner this past Tuesday night with a wonderful family in our church.The husband and wife both went through pretty bad divorces, came here to heal. Then they got married and they brought their kids, six of them together, and now they have a home. And we got to witness it. We put our feet under the table. We ate with them wonderful food, wonderful conversation. Man, we had brownies and ice cream at the end.It was fantastic. And then we went out in the driveway and we played knockout. You ever played knockout the basketball game? And I'm just telling you, Coach Pope PERSON should recruit their mom. She was unbelievable. She hit every shot.She was intimidating, honestly. But then we got in the truck at the end of the night, and I looked at Allison PERSON, and she looked at me, and both of us said the same thing. Our hearts were filled with joy. At the goodness of God in that family's life. That's why this church is here.It doesn't matter where you are right now. It's how you finish, friends. So we're investing in the next generation. We're strengthening them by exposing them to the mission of the Father, the methods of the sun and the metrics of the spirit. And if we do that, it'll not only strengthen this generation,there will be a ripple effect for generations to come. Because Jesus PERSON said, man, seek the kingdom of God, above all else, and live righteously. And He, God, will give you everything you need. Let me pray for us. Good Father, thank you for your design.God, I know we haven't always done a good job in the home, so we're reaping the benefits and the consequences of that right now as a culture. Father, we want to take back ground, and we know you want to help us do that. So I pray for those who were hurt as children by adults that should have taken care of them. Should have provided for them emotionally, physically, and spiritually, but they didn't. So now there's this woundedness, sadness, anger, whatever it is. I pray, God, you begin to do that healing work inside of them so that they don't pass it on to their children. And God, I pray for every parent and grandparent here today. Whatever children or grandchildren are under their purview,I pray, God, that you give them the wisdom. They need to be able to serve them well, love them well. But God, to develop them into the life of this family, the church, so that they can begin to understand your heart for people. Because, God, I know when we are exposed to it at a young age, it keeps us from chasing what the world has to offer us at an old age.So God bless the families in this church. Bless the single parents. God, bless the families that have been hurt by divorce. God, all of it. We just come to you and we say, you can take these things and put things together that are beautiful and wonderful for generations to come. God, I love that verse that I know Mary and Joseph PERSON probably spoke over Jesus several times. May the Lord bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you. That Jewish NORP blessing. God, what a rich verse. I pray that you would do that in the households in this church. And God, for years to come, we would see the benefits. We love you. We pray this in Jesus PERSON'name. Amen.