AEE 2196: What to Do When Everyone Says Your Name Incorrectly

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This is an all-ears English podcast, episode 2196. What to do when everyone says your name incorrectly.

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Welcome to the All-Ears English LANGUAGE podcast downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American host, Aubrey Carter, the IELTS Whiz, and Lindsay McMahon, the English LANGUAGE adventurer, coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, USA. And to get your transcripts delivered by email every week, go to all-earsenglish.com forward slash subscribe. When someone says your name with the wrong pronunciation, do you have the confidence and the vocabulary to correct them? After today's episode, you will.Get the tips, words, and strategy that you need to do this while maintaining the connection in English LANGUAGE. This podcast is sponsored by Indeed ORG. As a business owner myself, I've learned that the most important key to success is having a great team. But it can be time-consuming, reading through tons of resumes. Need to hire a great team. But it can be time consuming, reading through tons of resumes. Need to hire a great candidate at your company? Why not eliminate the busy work? Use Indeed ORG for scheduling, screening, and messaging so that you can connect with candidates faster. Just in the minute that I'vebeen talking to you, 23 hires were made on Indeed ORG, according to Indeed data worldwide. So join more than 3.5 million businesses worldwide that use Indeed ORG to hire great talent fast. Listeners of this show will get a $75-sponsored job credit to get your jobs more visibility at Indeed.com slash AEE. at Indeed.com ORG slash AEE. Just go to Indeed ORG.com slash AEE right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast.I-N-D-E-D dot com slash A-EE. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire, you need indeed. Hey, Lindsay, how's it going? It's going great, Aubrey. What's going on in your world today?

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Not too much. My kids are on spring break, so it's busy around here. What about you?

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Oh, yeah, it's going while the sun is shining today. I'm heading to California this weekend and next week. So all good, all good. Amazing. I love California this weekend and next week. So all good,

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all good. Amazing. I love California. We go pretty often. It's a quick drive from here and lots of fun

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stuff to do there. Oh, for sure. Lots of sunshine and nice weather. So yeah. So, Aubrey, I have a question

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for you today. All right. So what do you do usually when someone says your name incorrectly?

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When they mispronounce or say it wrong or say a different name.

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That's a good question.

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And as you can imagine, Lindsay, because you know that Audrey with a D is a very common name in the United States GPE.

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But Aubrey with a B is much less common.

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In fact, not that long ago was a boy's name in a lot of baby books.

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Aubrey is still a boy's name.

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So it's a more unique name.

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And I get Audrey PERSON a lot. But I. Aubrey is still a boy's name. So it's a more unique name and I get Audrey a lot.

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But I don't say anything. If it's someone that I'm meeting for the first time, right? I'm picking up

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my coffee or food and they say, Audrey PERSON, I would never say anything. But if it's someone that I know I will

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see again, I'm going to see them a lot, then I will correct them. I'll be like, oh, it's actually

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Aubrey. Okay. So that's a good policy, right? It's not necessarily worth, unless it's your neighborhood coffee shop and you're going to see them every day. It's just a one time passing. Don't bother. Right? Otherwise, especially if you get it a lot like I do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I get Lizzie PERSON and I know what you, I know what you mean. So that's an interesting question. If you get Lizzie and it's someone that you know you won't see again, would you say something or do you just let it go? I would probably just move on. It would probably be a quick

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interaction, right? And then I would move on. So this was inspired by a question from a listener,

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right? From Thelma. Yes, exactly. Will you read the question for us, Lindsay? Here you go. So she says,

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is it polite to correct the way that someone pronounces your name in their language?

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Yeah.

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Oh, this is such a good question.

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And there are a lot of things to think about, right?

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We're going to go into them and we're going to give you really good phrases for how to do this politely and the intonation.

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Because it can come across as, like, you can easily sound very annoyed or come across as rude depending on how you

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correct someone. And there's a lot here today guys. So listen in, right? We're going to cover things

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like body language even, intonation, timing of what you say, vocabulary you choose. It all creates

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or severs a connection, right? Yes, absolutely. And be sure if you missed it. Recently,

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we talked about names in episode 2188 here on the Allers English podcast. It was called Same Name, How to Connect over this commonality. Lindsay, you and Michelle PERSON had this conversation, right? Because this happens too. Often you'll have the same name as someone else. This was a great episode. And there's a lot of connection that can be had when that happens, right? And there are things you can say to just have a fun little connection moment or even start to get to know someone at that point

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over that moment of, oh, wow, we have the same name. So check out that episode. And Aubrey, what should our listeners do to not miss any of these episodes? I know if you missed that one,

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you might be missing other episodes. Be sure to hit follow. So they drop right into your queue. We have five episodes every week and they're all amazing. All right, good stuff. So hit that follow button wherever you

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listen. If you're on YouTube ORG, you can just hit the subscribe button. Another great way to do it. These episodes all go on YouTube from the Allers English ORG podcast. All right? Good.

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Okay. So let's dive into this. The first thing is to think about, just like we were saying, you know, who is this person? Is it someone you're never going to see again? Maybe it's not worth correcting them. But if it is someone who's going to be in your life, maybe a neighbor, a friend, even if like you said, Lindsay, someone that's coffee shop where you go often, then it is worth correcting them. English speakers want to be able to say your name correctly. Oh my gosh, it's mortifying if you realize for years.

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That you've been saying it wrong.

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If you don't, if it is someone you think you have a hunch could be in your life in one way or the other, you should do it because you could get to a point where you haven't corrected them yet so you feel like you can't now.

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Right.

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And then one day they're going to hear someone else say it

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correctly. It's not going to end well. And they will be so ashamed. They'll be mortified. Like you said,

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that's the best word for it. You'll pass that point. I feel like there must be comedy skits or maybe a

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Seinfeld episode covering something like that. It feels like the material for a comedy skit for sure.

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But also keep in mind that there may be sounds in your

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first language, there may be sounds in the way that your name is said where you live, that make

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your name difficult to pronounce for English LANGUAGE speakers or from someone in another place. So you may need

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to be, give them a little grace, be understanding. If they're trying, if they're coming close,

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which I do see that people do this a lot. I'll try to say their name and they'll be like, close enough, good job, awesome.

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I can't reproduce the way they're saying it. Right. And if they say that to you, then just move on because they might just be tired and exhausted from doing that over and over and trying, they've tried before to get people to pronounce it correctly and it's hard. So they might prefer just to move on, right?

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With what you know. I would never say, no, no, say it to me. Like, let me try again. Oh, we're going to move on, right? With what you do. Absolutely. Right? I would never say, no, no, say it to me. Like, let me try again. Oh, we're going to let it go because I'm doing my best.

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And I'm sure you're sick of people messing up your name, but you're also sick of trying to help people say your name correctly. Yeah, exactly. So let them drive that, right? Exactly. Okay. So where do we go today then?

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Yeah. So today we're going to share phrases that you can use to correct someone politely.

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And also what you should say if someone asks if they're saying your name correctly when they aren't.

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So just like you said, Lindsay, there's intonation, there's body language. There's a lot to think about.

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There's, you know, do you go right into correcting them or do you need to say something first? So let's start with the first option here. Yeah, and I really like

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this use of actually, right? We can say it's actually pronounced X and then you give the correct

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pronunciation. Why do we like that actually, Aubrey? What does that do? Yes, it's such a kind

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way to correct, right? You're letting them know you're wrong and it's actually this, but in a very

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polite way. And you're going to see, we're going to do a little mini roleplay here. You're not going to want to lead with this, right? If someone's introducing themselves, you're going to want to, you know, greet them, say something kind. And then you can say, oh, it's actually pronounced and then just say your name the way that you pronounce it. Right. And we'll show you how to do that right now. So let's go into a little role play, a mini role play for our listeners.

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All right, you start us out, Lindsay.

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All right, here we go. Hello, Genevieve, it's nice to meet you.

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Nice to meet you, Lindsay. It's actually pronounced Genvieve PERSON.

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Oh, Genevieve, okay, thank you for letting me know.

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No problem. This is a good example of a French LANGUAGE name

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that does exist in English. It's quite rare, it's quite unique, but we pronounce it Genevieve. And so if someone came from France, they could either just accept the English pronunciation, Genevieve, or if they really prefer, which I actually do, the French pronunciation of Genvieve PERSON. Absolutely. Correct people, insist on Genvieve. This is a polite way to do that. You are allowed to ask for someone to pronounce it the way you pronounce it in your home country.

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Of course, you have that right 100%. And it is more beautiful in French LANGUAGE. That's my opinion too. I agree. I agree. So do it. Correct them. But in a polite way, notice in the role play, it would have been awkward if you say hello Genevieve nice to meet you

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and I immediately say it's actually pronounced the Genviev especially depending on my intonation if I sound annoyed if I sound frustrated you have to be careful here well there are two things that I think you did well before saying it's actually pronounced Genviev PERSON you said nice to meet you and then you said my name which which is another bonus, another way to build a connection. So you said, nice to meet you. You put something there and then you said my name.

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Yes, nice to meet you, Lindsay. That's such a good point, right? This you feel cared for.

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You feel like, oh, she knows my name. She's saying correct. And then it probably felt very natural and not at all rude for me to say, it's actually pronounced Genvieve. 100%. I love that. All right. Let's move into the second thing that

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we can do, Aubrey. So what is it? Yeah. Our second phrase is to say, my name has a unique pronunciation. It's actually, again, we use actually because we're correcting, letting them know the way

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they said it was incorrect. And I love this, especially if your name is difficult to pronounce in English LANGUAGE, giving them that grace, recognizing I understand why you've pronounced it incorrectly. Everyone does, right? You're taking away the shame they might feel, the embarrassment they could possibly feel. Yeah, I agree. And you could maybe swap in some other words like tricky, right?

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So other things we can do. But I like the idea of saying, this is not easy, right? This is different. Something is different here. You're calling my name's a bit tricky. My name's a little unique. Absolutely lots of ways to say this. And then it's actually and say it the way you would like them to

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try to say it. Yes, here we go. Let's do another role play to show this. All right, I'll start us out.

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Elizabeth PERSON, thanks for coming. Thank you. Oh, happy to be here. My name is actually pronounced

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Elizabeth PERSON. My apologies, Elizabeth. Thank you for telling me. Okay. Yeah. I used intentionally used a

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name here that this is very close, right? We just have the difference of the TH in English LANGUAGE, but a lot of names are like

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this, where it'll end with like a T sound and we'll anglicize it and we're adding that TH because

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we're used to the name Elizabeth. This is the name that we have in English LANGUAGE, right? But if that

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might be your pet peeve to hear your name anglicized that way, it's absolutely your right to ask them to say it correctly. I would much prefer that you correct me. Let me know how you would like me to say it. 100%. I have no problem with that. Just have to say it politely.Yeah, because as we said before, it might be a little uncomfortable in the beginning, but you're saving face in the long run for that person, right?

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Exactly.

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Yes. And same here. You said, thank you. Happy to be here before you use our phrase. Oh, my name is actually pronounced Elizabeth PERSON. Whereas if you dove right in with that, it would feel pretty abrupt or blunt. So we're using that same strategy, which is delay a little bit with a positive comment and then give the correction.

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Yes, exactly. I love that. Lead with something positive. And so this is our pro tip, right? For both these role plays, think, look at what is said before the phrase we taught. Don't dive right in with. Actually,

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my name is pronounced like this. Or they will feel embarrassed. They will feel, you know,

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just much more regretful. Whereas if you do it this way, couched with like a happy to meet you, nice to meet you too, Lindsay, then it just doesn't feel so harsh. Yeah, that's another interesting

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connection strategy for our listeners today, right? What do we say? How do we delay just a half a second by saying something else, not just in the name scenario, but other scenarios where you're giving some kind of awkward feedback or response? What are the things we can do to soften the blow, right?

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Yes, exactly. And then we promise to share this because I know often, I get asked, or I ask our students often, right? Am I saying your name correctly? And we want to give you some phrases to say here because often our students will say like, close enough or that's fine, you know, and it's clear to me that I'm not, but they either don't have the phrase to let me know that or they're not sure if they should.

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And of course, this is up to you, right? What do you feel comfortable with? What is the relationship? But I'm letting you know, the native speakers I know would love to be pronouncing your name the way you like to hear it. Oh, for sure, for sure. And we have, you know, there may be some cultural differences there around, like correctinga teacher, right?

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I know in some cultures, there might be not as much an accepting thing to be correcting a teacher, right?

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But certainly in the culture in which we exist here in American NORP culture, online teaching, it's more than fine. And you should, you know, please do. If you want it to be corrected, please do.

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Yes, that's such a great point. In our community, we want to make sure you're saying,

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we are saying your names correctly. So we have a couple things you could say. The first one I love is

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just to say, let's do this as a role play. Lindsay, if I say, am I saying your name correctly?

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How could you respond? I could say, oh, close. It's actually Mikkel PERSON.

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Nice. And then let's do another one. Am I saying your name correctly?

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Not quite. It's a little tricky in English LANGUAGE. It's Mikhail. Nice. I love both of these because you're not just saying, no, it's a mechal, right? It's such a nice way to say it. Like, oh, close or not quite. It's a little tricky in English, again, giving them that grace of recognizing like, this is not an easy name to say, or it's different in English. Yeah, I mean, I think the takeaway I want to leave our

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listeners with today is how important this is, because this hopefully, hopefully is happening

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early on in a relationship, right? And so, ideally, yes. We want to make sure that we take,

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it's the time when the connection is the most fragile.

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Is it going to have it? Is it going to flourish into some kind of a nice connection or is it going to be a little hostile and awkward and feel cold?

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It matters more at the beginning than later on when we know the person. And think about the message that you're sending to native English LANGUAGE speakers. If you correct them and let them know your name in this kind way, you're letting them know, I plan to get to, you're letting them know, I plan to get to know you better. I plan for this to be an important connection to me.It's worth it to me to let you know, you know, how I like my name to be set. Well, it shows so much confidence, right?

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So much confidence to be able to do that and to know, like you said, to know, I'm worth it.

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To be sending a message to the world to say, I am worth you correcting and spending a little bit more time learning how to say my name. I'm worth it and our connection is worth it, right? Yes. We're going to get to know each other,

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so we should know each other's names and say them correctly. I love it. I think that's a great way to leave it today for today's episode. So go for it. Guys, you've been given the strategies, the tactics. We forgot to mention body language, but I think it definitely plays in with the strategy of delaying a little bit by saying something nice. It's also body language. There's a lot that we say with our bodies. Abbey PERSON. Absolutely. It goes right

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along with that intonation, right? Are you opening up? And if you are, like you said, Lindsay, a lot of the confidence is going to automatically happen in your body language. That confidence shows when you're

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like, it's actually this. And we're not closing in to say like, it's fine. No problem. However you say it is

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fine. We're crossing our. We're not crossing our arms and saying, actually. Right. No, love it. All right. Good stuff. Guys, if you love our style, we look at how you can connect in any given moment using English LANGUAGE, even if you're making a mistake, you can still connect. And that's our philosophy. That's what we believe in. That's what we focus on here at all of English LANGUAGE. So hit that follow button. Right, Aubrey? Yes, absolutely. Awesome. Lindsay, thanks for joining me today.

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All right. Great stuff. I'll talk to know your English LANGUAGE level? Take our two-minute

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quiz. Go to all-earsenglish.com forward slash fluency score. And if you believe in connection, not perfection,

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then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.