589 CALL-IN SHOW: AITA for accessing my dad’s phone and deleting a pic of me?

Speaker 00s - 26.9s

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Speaker 1359.82s - 84.96s

We welcome Elle to the call and show Elle from Toronto GPE. How are you today, Al PERSON? I'm good. How are you? I'm good. I wanted to publicly thank you for my wonderful Funko Pop PRODUCT of me. I now am up to two Funko Pops PRODUCT against my will. And of course, the wonderful treats you gave me, which I haven't eaten yet.I've been very good. I'm waiting to share them with Jake and Shannon PERSON.

Speaker 285.76s - 96.5s

Oh, that's sweet. I'm curious as to which I haven't eaten yet. I've been very good. I'm waiting to share them with Jake and Shannon PERSON. Oh, that's sweet. I'm curious as to which ones you like the best. Because I'll keep sending you guys more if you like them. I'll be your Canadian NORP snack supplier.

Speaker 1396.88s - 104.98s

We love a snack from a different country. You know, it's just, it's crazy what you all are doing out there. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2104.98s - 112.66s

I mean, it's crazy what you guys are doing out there. Oh my gosh. I mean, it's crazy what you guys have going in the U.S. I walked around like I was in Disneyland FAC and I was in just like random downtown L.A.

Speaker 13117.16s - 134.82s

Well, I have to say, you know, and by the way, we, I did meet L guys. So you're like, you know, beyond the live shows, I think probably the third or fourth listener I've ever met up with. And I got to say, I wasn't like actually offended, but you were really hitting the like, oh, I'm surprised America GPE doesn't just have like gun violence right now in front of me. And I got a little bit like, okay, you know what?

Speaker 2134.86s - 136.04s

It's not like that bad.

Speaker 13136.12s - 137.16s

Like I got a little defensive.

Speaker 2138.84s - 139.34s

That's fair.

Speaker 13139.44s - 139.76s

That's fair.

Speaker 2139.82s - 145.76s

I feel like it's because like Canada and the U.S. GPE are so similar in a lot of ways, but there are just

Speaker 13145.76s - 150.04s

random things that are just noticeably different. And the gun culture is one of the biggest ones.

Speaker 3150.84s - 156.76s

That being said, though, I was surprised at how friendly, especially Californians are. I feel like

Speaker 13156.76s - 161.18s

people in Toronto are not even that, like, nice to you on the street. But Californians are pretty,

Speaker 3161.84s - 165.32s

like, helpful and friendly in a way that I wasn't expecting, really.

Speaker 0166.44s - 167.4s

That makes sense.

Speaker 2167.48s - 172.84s

I think people here are pretty chill, you know, whereas, like, Toronto's more of an East Coast city, right?

Speaker 13173.58s - 174.2s

That's true.

Speaker 2174.3s - 179.54s

That's true. That's probably what the difference is. Because I've heard the same is true about Vancouver GPE. People are pretty chill over there, too.

Speaker 13180.22s - 194.08s

No, the West Coast, West Coast, Best Coast is what my friend used to say who lived in Arizona GPE. And I was like, you're literally not on the coast, bro. I don't know what story you're trying to tell yourself. They're just like adjacent.

Speaker 2194.82s - 196.12s

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 13197.32s - 201.86s

Although if you do keep saying two Funko Pups PRODUCT against your will, I have a sneaking suspicion.

Speaker 2202.02s - 203.42s

People are going to try and increase that number.

Speaker 13203.54s - 204.22s

No, I know.

Speaker 2204.22s - 209.4s

I don't, I honestly, like I love things that I had to say ducky Vega PERSON, you know,

Speaker 13209.58s - 212.2s

somebody, God, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 2212.3s - 215.56s

Cat knitted me a duck, which you named, right?

Speaker 13215.64s - 216.76s

You came up with Duckie Vega.

Speaker 0217.14s - 217.7s

It was a great name.

Speaker 6217.7s - 218.12s

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 0218.58s - 223.1s

I just love, even if the listener send me something that I find hideous, you know, just

Speaker 13223.1s - 229.44s

knowing the intent behind it just tickles my little heart. And I, I cuddle the little funcop pop that you made of me every night.

Speaker 0229.6s - 229.96s

Oh.

Speaker 13230.76s - 236.52s

I give myself a kiss. Good night, self. Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 3236.52s - 241.44s

You are a lesbian. That's correct. Mm-hmm. Yes.

Speaker 6241.72s - 246.82s

And I only say that because we're going to do a situation where that might be relevant.

Speaker 3248s - 249.36s

That would be weird if I just said it.

Speaker 6249.42s - 252.02s

And then the situation was like about a horse kicking a dog.

Speaker 3253.18s - 255.82s

You're like, and now on to the stage.

Speaker 13256.72s - 259.24s

What impact do you want to have on the world?

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Speaker 13347.9s - 440.84s

father-in-law a quote-unquote lewd message and interfering with her married life. I've got a conflict I'd rather not present to my friends so I need the anonymous power of Reddit and all you judgment-giving strangers. My sister 28F got married in late April. I, 25M, have been hanging out with her father-in-law, Thomas, mid-40s, ever since. It's not like we're seeing each other on the daily just every other weekend or so. We grab drinks or just hang out at his home. Nothing nefarious. Still, I've never brought it up to my sister because it's never came up. Last night we were hanging outlike we usually do. I'm typically in charge of playing music for us and cybersex by Doja Cat ORG came on the playlist I cued. Thomas PERSON was amused by the lyrics and was asking me where I found the song. It was a funny moment. We moved on. I left after a while. This morning when I woke up, I sent him a text along with a link to the song as a joke. Turns out my sister and her husband were visiting at this point and my brother-in-law was in the middle of looking at something on Thomas PERSON' phone when the message came through. Apparently, it caused a huge stir and resulted in brother-in-law confronting his father about the whole thing.My sister called me later and asked why I was sending her father-in-law lewd messages or hanging out with him at all. I tried to explain the situation like I did here that he and I grabbed drinks and catch up occasionally after finding things in common during her wedding weekend, but hasn't gone well. I'm starting to feel guilty about the whole thing because she said I was interfering with her married life.I'm lost. Oh, edit, comments are said I should include that I'm bisexual. AITA.

Speaker 2442.28s - 452.62s

Ooh, I love mess. But also, okay, I read this originally, and I didn't realize that O-P was a male. I thought it was a woman.

Speaker 0452.92s - 456.4s

And then I would scroll down, I was like, why doesn't it matter that they're bisexual? Now I get it.

Speaker 2457.76s - 472.54s

Yep. That is so juicy. I love, like, the utter disingenuous, like, or being so disingenuous that you're like, I don't understand like why they'd be so upset about this thing that I, for some reason,

Speaker 13472.54s - 517.12s

knew not to mention to them. Exactly. I mean, if we're going to start on dinging OP, I think let's call a spade a spade. It seems like he was rather trying to obscure some of the context here, which is like, you're bisexual, this person, and you are probably not just friends. These don't really sound like strictly friendly activities. And by the way, I have never heard like a sexual songwith a male friend or a female friend. I've been like, ha, ha, ha, isn't it funny the sexual song playing? Yeah, that's true. I think it's, ha, ha, ha, ha, isn't it funny the sexual song playing? Yeah, that song is pretty. I think it's funny because you guys are thinking about fucking each other. That's totally why it's funny. No one's ever like, oh, ho-ho-ha-cat, what a funny little song.

Speaker 2518.22s - 555.94s

Yeah, it's also just like, I don't know, like maybe you could be friendly. You could have something in common between being like, you know, 25 and mid 40s. But like, I don't know. That seems like a very odd way to make a friendship. Especially again, like I think the ultimate like real ding here is that O.P ORG knew not to mention it. Like that feels like the kind of thing that would come up in conversation at some point. Like, oh, you know, like your father-in-law is really awesome. Like, we've got so much in common. But, like, it feels like OP PERSON kind of knew what they wanted out of this relationship and maybe like the sort of elicitness of it.

Speaker 13557.24s - 600s

I think so. I mean, it is, damn, it is kind of like, yeah, I can definitely see how in a not so healthy way this might be a little hot, especially if you're trying to get one in on your sister as well. And I, you know, I think the age gap, 25 to 40, it's not, I don't love it, but it's like, it doesn't strike me as like that bad. I think 25 is really starting to get to more of an adult place, you know, 22, I'd get a little bit more like,okay, this is a little bit intense. I gotta say, though, once again, and we've seen this dynamic before, it seems that whenever things like this happen, people love to blame the younger person.

Speaker 2602.12s - 607.24s

Ooh, that's an interesting point. I mean, you're, yeah. No, no, what were you gonna say? Well, point. I mean, yeah.

Speaker 13608.12s - 643.56s

No, no, what were you going to say? Well, you're not wrong, though. Like, he's definitely hiding it from her. But like the notion, you know, that the sister calls me later and asks why I was sending her father-in-law lewd messages or hanging out with him at all. It's like, did the sister ask that of the father-in-law? Like I, you know, like this is a two-way street here.I guess it's from his perspective, so I don't need to necessarily ding sister on that note, but it does seem like the framing. In other words, shouldn't the framing be like, why are you guys interacting? Rather than why did you?

Speaker 2643.68s - 663.96s

It seems like it's kind of framed in this way of like, why are you chasing him? It's like, well, not necessarily at all it. I feel like there might be something though, too, that you are picking up on that it's from OP PERSON's perspective. So they're hearing from the sister. I'm wondering if father-in-law is hearing from, you know, the husband in that situation.

Speaker 13664.82s - 666.78s

That, you know, that's very fair. That's very fair.

Speaker 2666.78s - 688.28s

You might be getting a very similar text message being like, hey, why are you talking to my 25-year-old brother-in-law? Like, weird you haven't mentioned because, again, I'm assuming that like that is a two-way thing that father-in-law also has not mentioned these regular hangouts or even been like, oh, hey, you know, your brother was really cool, like loved talking to him. Yeah.

Speaker 13688.72s - 723.48s

Let's read the top comment. Atomic golf cart. Something's not adding up here. Edit. OPE PERSON added that he's by. OPE PERSON added that he's by.And based on that, I'm definitely going the YTA ORG route. Even if father-in-law is single, this is a completely inappropriate friendship for both parties involved. And I guess I guess I just have to get my head into Jerry Springer PERSON mode, but I'm sort of like, is it? I don't know. I don't know. I'm struggling to feel a natural ding. Maybe I just have to think my way through this.

Speaker 2725.34s - 796s

No, see, I'm also struggling to feel the natural ding. Maybe I just have to think my way through this. No, see, I'm also, I'm also struggling to feel the natural ding on that. Because I'm like, technically, if father-in-law is single, I'm less inclined to see this as like, you know, because, yeah, if father-in-law is married, then it's even more mess. The thing is, I guess the big ding, obviously, is that, like, this is sort of, you know, messing with the family.This is probably going to be messing with the family dynamic. You know, like, it's hard to say, like, you can have a completely neutral relationship with somebody who's so involved. Like, if that goes south or if anything goes wrong, you still have to see each other,and it probably is also kind of unnerving for your sister and brother-in-law to know that this is happening. Like that isn't, I mean, this is the kind of messy relationship that I think is thrilling, but like definitely not ideal. And definitely I can see why from the sister and brother-in-law's perspective, like, this is a real asshole move, them sort of carrying on this affair or not a fair,whatever it actually is, which it's almost certainly definitely an affair. Well, why is it an affair?

Speaker 13796.7s - 797.9s

Oh, I guess not an affair.

Speaker 2798.14s - 798.5s

It's cheating.

Speaker 3798.94s - 800.22s

Father-in-law is not married,

Speaker 13800.22s - 802.66s

but I guess like I'm just thinking of the term affair,

Speaker 2802.82s - 808.36s

just even if like both of them are single. I guess this relationship, this situation that they're in.

Speaker 13808.44s - 863.04s

I see you on it. I mean, I see why you're saying a fair because it's like kind of a hidden thing. I mean, I guess like, look, is it incest? No, it's not. But it certainly leads to some odd things, right? For instance, if this was heteronormative, which I don't think should affectthe morality, then, you know, and then O.P. ORG had a kid with a father-in-law, then you would get this really horrific crossing of relationships, right? Where you would, where this child would both be a brother-in-law and a literal brother. It would be pretty fucked up. Or half brother. But still, like, you can see how that at least is uncomfortable.I guess that is what we're trying to suggest that, you know, intermingling, because it's not incest, but intermingling with someone's family is inherently wrong because of the risk.I don't know if I love that,

Speaker 2863.16s - 944.92s

but it doesn't feel quite right to me, but... You know, I'm struggling with the same thing because I think it's like, you know, chemistry is one thing. I guess it is... It's a thing that I think is trickyand I think comes up in a lot of the situations that you guys cover on the pod where it's like, how much can a person sort of control, I guess, their desire to want to be with somebody and I think to some degree there are situations in which like you might have all the chemistry in the world but like there are certain things that just make this relationship you know unacceptable or like you have to be able to put that I guess sort of boundaryin place that like you know I really like you and I'm attracted to put that, I guess, sort of boundary in place that, like, you know, I really like you and I'm attracted to you, but we have this other connection or we have these other factors that we have to consider that would make this a bad idea. Maybe it would make it a good idea, but I guess even if their relationship did get serious, that would still make it kind of awkward for the rest of them, you know, for the sister and brother-in-law. I guess it's valid for them maybe to be a little bit upset about that,because I guess maybe it is that thing of like, maybe you're not the asshole for wanting to pursue this relationship, but maybe they're also not assholes for feeling weird about it. But again, all of this in the context of them not sneaking around in this weird way. And then trying to act like that's not what they're doing.

Speaker 13945.52s - 987.56s

That actually might be, I know I didn't feel that was a ding before, but now I'm thinking maybe that is the ding because, you know, if you're going to do something like this and then you're going to hide it to let it, right, to let it begin to grow. It must be hidden to grow. Yeah.It's like a marijuana plan in a backwards-ass state. It's got to be hidden. So if it wasn be hidden to grow. Yeah. It's like a marijuana plan in a in a backwards-ass state. It's got to be hidden. So if it wasn't hidden, then you know, you fucking know the sister would have hidden back hard with like, I don't like that. That's not comfortable. So it was in the hiding that allowed this thing to flourish, which tells me like there must be something fucking wrong about this. But I'm struggling to articulate it. I think that's what's bothering me.

Speaker 2988.22s - 1001.94s

I don't even think there's something wrong about it. I think this is messy L speaking. It's less hot if it's not hidden. Well, I mean, I guess that's the thing too,

Speaker 131002.02s - 1035.92s

is like if it's hot, because that's, God, this is throwing me. It's almost like if it's a fling, if it's a fling, I mean, I guess that's the thing, too, is like, if it's hot, because that's, God, this is throwing me. It's almost like if it's a fling, if it's a fling, I cannot ding, as the great poets said. You know, because it's like, well, what? They fucked and like, yeah, it was inappropriate and it's weird and they should have done that. But, you know, it's not that big of a deal. It's almost like actually having an involved relationship.And then it's like, again, goes to this risk factor. It's like, it's not that the fling is that big of a deal, but it's that in having a fling you flirt with having a real relationship. And that's inappropriate.

Speaker 21036.4s - 1044.92s

Oh, this is a, I don't, I don't. Ooh, here's a thought, actually, as you're saying, if it's a fling or when we're thinking about what the reason that you would keep it secret,

Speaker 31065.84s - 1070.9s

in a normal relationship, you sort of get to set the, you know, the beginning of that relationship is just about the two of you. There's no one else involved. And they don't have that because of, you know, obviously the way that they met is through these really, really close connections with their family. And so by keeping it secret, they kind of get to keep it to themselves and develop it between them versus how they come out about it. Everybody's going to have an opinion. Everyone's

Speaker 21070.9s - 1074.02s

going to be involved. They're probably going to try and stop it from happening.

Speaker 31076.3s - 1080.2s

Versus when you have it. And maybe that is the thing that makes it more hot is that you get to

Speaker 21080.2s - 1092.72s

actually, you know, have this relationship with this person rather than it being this public sort of thing that everyone is watching you do or commenting on or judging. Yeah, I mean, I agree.

Speaker 131092.72s - 1122.84s

I guess what I'm struggling here is like, AITA for sending my sister's father-in-law a lewd message and interfering with her married life. Okay, so then the idea is that by having a fling, by sending the messages, you are interfering with whoever it may be is married life. And I don't know.I don't know if I agree with that.

Speaker 21123.7s - 1130.24s

Ruining with or messing with the sister's married life. Right.

Speaker 131130.66s - 1149.94s

I just, I guess my issue is I'm like, well, okay. But then why is sexualizing the issue? Is sexualizing the issue? What's the issue here? Is it romance? Because it's not friendship, right?

Speaker 61150.06s - 1156.36s

Nobody would be like, oh, now you're friends with my father-in-law? Like, that wouldn't be, that's fine.

Speaker 21157.86s - 1172.38s

I do think, yeah, and I mean, I do think it's really telling that, oh, I guess technically O.P. calls it nothing nefarious, but I don't think it's really telling that, oh, I guess technically OP calls it nothing nefarious, but I don't think it's nefarious to you, have a little crush or whatever.

Speaker 131172.76s - 1175.52s

My gut is telling me that this is wrong and bad.

Speaker 21175.62s - 1181.54s

I guess what's not aligning for me is like I can't explain why besides the fact that it's messy.

Speaker 131181.82s - 1185.4s

But I'm like, is it just because it's risky? Is that why it's wrong? I don't know.

Speaker 21186.68s - 1214.04s

I guess that's, yeah, like, I am struggling to think of why this is wrong. And I feel like there might be, I don't know, and this might be a bit of a reach, but it could be that like the thing that O.P. sister and probably brother-in-law are struggling with is like maybe they did not view father-in-law as a person who was like attracted to men and are now having to reconcile

Speaker 01214.04s - 1219.26s

with that. And I guess if it was a woman, I think there would be a separate conversation where

Speaker 21219.26s - 1237.94s

it would feel strange in a different way. Because I will say when I did originally read this and thought it was a woman, I felt a lot more, there were some parts of that relationship between O.P. ORG and father-in-law that I felt were more iffy,which is definitely a real bias on my part. It's a very difficult

Speaker 131237.94s - 1248.94s

bias to overcome. You hear 40-25, two guys, and you're like, what? 40-25, a male, 40-year-old chasing a 25-year-old team on, team on it's like oh I don't know I guess maybe there's something about

Speaker 21248.94s - 1251.34s

her normativity though that makes it feel weirder

Speaker 131251.34s - 1253.82s

because I do think and we there's a whole

Speaker 21253.82s - 1298.8s

separate debate about this but I think those kinds of age gap relationships have for better for worse have tended to be more common in queer communities um at least I don't know in the past maybe not so much now tended to be more common in queer communities. At least, I don't know, in the past, maybe not so much now, but something about that, yeah,I think maybe it's something more about like in a heteronormative society, you know, a 40-something-year-old man chasing a 25-year-old girl feels a lot less. It's a lot easier to see kind of more, I guess, like less honorable motivations behind that versus if it's two men. Maybe that's even, maybe that's even, maybe that's even just a bad way to look at it.

Speaker 131298.96s - 1380.9s

I mean, it's interesting. I just think it's outside of scope and I think we're struggling. Look, I think I'm developing an angle here. Let's change some variables and see if we can figure out why the fuck this is wrong. Let's talk about two twin sisters. Two twin sisters.One of the twin sisters is dating a guy and then the other beautiful twin sister wants to date that guy's brother. That does seem wrong as well. That does seem fucked up. Is it? Yes, it does. Because you know what it is.I feel like I've heard of that happening. Of course, it happens. It happens. It doesn't have this like, I think the layer that's making this worse is the generation gap. But I think one of the big issues here is that you are fucking my shit up. Because listen, if you go in and you're my best friend, so I'm one of the big issues here is that you are fucking my shit up. Because listen, if you go in and you're my best friend, so I'm one of the hot sisters in this.And now my sister wants to fuck the brother of my guy. She's mixing my shit up because now it is the risk. That's what's not okay. That's what's not okay. Because here's the truth. If that relationship fails, there's going to be knock on That's what's not okay. Because here's the truth. If that relationship fails,there's going to be knock on effects that fuck with my relationship. And so you are shitting where you eat. You're fucking up my shit. And you're mixing things that should not be mixed. And that is why we would say it's inappropriate because you're exposing me.That's the problem. It's not the risk.

Speaker 31381.3s - 1390.04s

It's not the risk. You're allowed to be as risky as you want and fuck up your own shit. It's that you're putting my shit at risk, you motherfucker. Get out my shit. It's not the risk. You're allowed to be as risky as you want and fuck up your own shit. It's that you're putting my shit, you motherfucker. Get out my shit. That's my theory.

Speaker 131390.96s - 1391.48s

You know what?

Speaker 21391.54s - 1455.08s

I think that is a solid theory, actually. Because, yeah, obviously the versions I've heard about it are relationships that last. But you're right, because I think, especially if it's not a situation where you already had this connection with this person and you formed it sort of in tandem with, you know, the original point of connection, which is sister and brother-in-law. At the point that you meet this father-in-law, you already know what your relationship to him is and you know what the stakes are. You know the fact that, you know, your sister and your brother-in-law hopefully intend to be married for a long time that you're going to see this person a ton.And that if you decide to get messy with this father-in-law like it could mean very awkward like put your sister and your brother-in-law in a very awkward position and just kind of like mess with this thing that just doesn't need to be messed with and I think that maybe is the I guess maybe that original like idea of just like there are certain things like chemistry or not that you just have there are other factors other than the chemistry or how much you kind of are into somebody that have to factor in when you're thinkingabout how you want to pursue a relationship. I think I'm on board with this. I think that's it.

Speaker 131455.16s - 1491.92s

I think we cracked the code. I think that it scales, right? Like you're saying you've heard of it. I've heard of it like whatever twin sisters and brothers and their boyfriends and girlfriends, and it's not that serious of a defense. But once you start to cross in a marriage, I think we arecrossing something that should not be crossed. And I think this is classic. AITA for sending my sister's father-in-law a lewd message and quote-unquote interfering with her married life. It's not because he's by. It's not even really because the generation gap. It is because you are potentially messing with her marriage. I think that's true. I'm on board.

Speaker 21492.36s - 1498.58s

Therefore, it is a YTA ORG. Yeah, I'm on board with that. Yeah, YTA. This was one of those ones where

Speaker 131498.58s - 1509.2s

it's like the verdict is obvious, but like, I don't know, I love that we were able to chew on this because I didn't have the words for it. So I feel like we found it. I feel good about it too.

Speaker 21509.28s - 1528.74s

I think it was helpful to dig down and talk specifically why apart from the sort of like, because you didn't say anything because you were being deceptive about it. Because I think even that, like I do the conversation, I can see reasons for that being the case.But fundamentally, you're right. Just, you know, shitting where you eat is, makes you an asshole.

Speaker 131529.22s - 1536.9s

It's one of those cases where the cliches are, they just nailed it. You know what I mean? Truly, yeah.

Speaker 21537.76s - 1540.26s

Elle PERSON, it's always great conversing to with you.

Speaker 131541.32s - 1543.84s

Conversing to you. Wow, that makes me sound like a real douchebag.

Speaker 21547s - 1554.06s

That's all right. I love to converse out people as well. Great to talk with you and we'll see you next time. Bye.

Speaker 131554.3s - 1572.44s

All right. Bye. Hi, everybody. We welcome Teresa PERSON from Pennsylvania to the call-in show. Teresa, how are you today? I'm good. How are you? Can't complain. You were telling me that you live in Pennsylvania GPE, but you work remotely, but you are like involved in restaurants.

Speaker 141573.64s - 1580.26s

Yeah, I work for a general contractor and we build a really expensive restaurants in Washington GPE, D.C.

Speaker 131580.5s - 1583.42s

Hey, I love an expensive restaurant. Can you get me a deal or what?

Speaker 61584.06s - 1605.36s

I wish. Now, you also wanted me to tell that you love plants. You're a plant girl. I do love plants. I wish that I had someone who shared a love of plants as much as I do. Well, plants like other plants. I don't know if that counts. What's your favorite plant? I really love the prayer plant.

Speaker 131606.08s - 1607.42s

Ooh, I don't know the prayer plant.

Speaker 61607.52s - 1608.78s

Let me give that at Google ORG.

Speaker 131608.88s - 1611.3s

Does it look like it's praying or what? What's the deal, prayer plant?

Speaker 141611.3s - 1618.7s

Well, when the lights go off or when it's nighttime, the leaves fold in.

Speaker 131619.74s - 1620.18s

Oh, okay.

Speaker 141620.28s - 1621.14s

I'm looking at a picture.

Speaker 131621.38s - 1626.74s

It's pretty photogenic. I wouldn't say it's like strikingly interesting, but the leaves are odd.

Speaker 141627.82s - 1631.56s

They have like lime green ones. They have all kinds of different colors of them.

Speaker 131633.14s - 1640.24s

It's called the Kalithia Zebrina PRODUCT. I guess that's a science name. And I like it's Zebrina. It kinds of sounds like Sabrina PERSON meets zebra. Zebrina PERSON.

Speaker 61640.56s - 1641.98s

It does, guys.

Speaker 131642.66s - 1690.3s

Well, thank you for joining me. You said that you're a very passionate ants, which, you know, you hear about a crazy ants, but you don't hear so much about the ants who wants to be involved a lot. So I thought we would do a little ants, Situasio PERSON. Sounds good. Here we go.This show is sponsored by Better Help ORG. In life, sometimes we carry things, and we need to get them off our chest. My life right now, it's a little stressful, but if it's not stressful at all, then that itself becomes bad and stressful. So you've got to find a balance. One way to help find the balance, people, is therapy. You know I have benefited personally from therapy, and I think it can benefit you in myriad ways. As my dad likes to say, you can't smell your own stink people.

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Speaker 131810.24s - 1925.64s

AITA for not stopping my daughter asking her infertile aunt why she doesn't have kids. My sister-in-law, Lily, who is in her late 40s, doesn't have kids. I know bits from my mother-in-law that they had fertility issues and she was very upset about it. I don't know if she authorized her mother to tell us anything. She has never directly talked to me or my husband, her brother, about it. When new family pregnancies are announced, it must hurt, but she's generally congratulatory and warm.Now, we have two kids and my sister-in-law is a great auntie to them. Due to distance, they don't see each other often, but when they do, she spoils them, plays games with them, and shows an interest in their lives. They adore her. My 13F has recently started asking why Auntie Lily PERSON doesn't have her own kids, as she is so nice.I've kept being vague, but she's become persistent. I don't want to break a confidence. I say, I don't know. She says she will ask her. I tell her not to. She might be upset.She says, well, she can just have some then. We have a row, rinse, and repeat. My husband and I have discussed it, and I wonder whether my daughter may have heard something. Lily PERSON and her husband have just been in the area and came to dinner with us.It was nice until my daughter asked, why doesn't she have kids? I didn't know what to do, but glared a daughter and told her not to be rude. Lily PERSON said something vague about things not always happening how you expect. Daughter pushed it further and then said about me telling her, but not to ask me because they'd be upset, implying I'd said something to her. Lily PERSON said something else vague. When the kids had gone, Lily PERSON made a comment about being a topic of conversationin our house. I said that kids do this sometimes and apologize. Lily PERSON clearly thought I'd been gossiping about her, which I get out from my daughter's comments were a phrase. It sounded that way and was visibly upset. Lily PERSON left soon after dinner. I feel bad, but I'm not sure what I should have done differently. A-I-T-A. How old was the daughter again? 13 F.

Speaker 141926.88s - 1926.96s

Yeah, she's at a need.

Speaker 131930.56s - 1931.12s

She should have had some kind of conversation with her.

Speaker 141933.44s - 1935.12s

Just telling her not to talk about it.

Speaker 131946.54s - 1948.76s

Yeah, you're not wrong, I suppose, but, you know, I don't know that the 13-year-olds should have to be told this or that this is something that I'm responsible to explain, you know?

Speaker 141948.82s - 1950.22s

It's a natural question.

Speaker 131950.36s - 1951.16s

It's part of life.

Speaker 141952.32s - 1960.28s

It is, but if your daughter has a great relationship with their aunt and they don't have kids, I don't have kids.

Speaker 91961.48s - 1967.22s

But all of my nieces and nephews know that I don't have kids and I don't want to have kids.

Speaker 01967.84s - 1971.16s

I mean, I've been asked, where are your kids, who are your kids?

Speaker 91971.52s - 1978.84s

But their parents talk to them about people have kids, people don't have kids, people live together, people don't live together.

Speaker 01978.84s - 1990.8s

It's your responsibility as a parent to give your kids the idea of culture and the differences in everyone's life.

Speaker 41990.94s - 1993.06s

I mean, some parents like together, some parents don't.

Speaker 141993.24s - 1995.58s

But this isn't an unacceptable question.

Speaker 61996.22s - 1997.04s

It's just not.

Speaker 141997.14s - 1998s

Why don't you have kids?

Speaker 61998.06s - 1999.1s

This is a good question.

Speaker 131999.1s - 2016s

And there's many answers to this question that aren't sensitive, right? I don't want to have kids. I find kids ugly and obnoxious. That's not a sensitive area. I don't think this is an inherently inappropriate question. That is where I will begin to mount my case, defending O.P.

Speaker 142018.28s - 2025.64s

O.P. could have warned the aunt that questions were asked and that it might be something that her daughter's going

Speaker 132025.64s - 2063.42s

to ask her. I guess, but you know, doesn't the aunt know? I'm sure the aunt has fielded this question. I mean, I've got to say, like, I understand a miscarriage is very painful, but, you know, I guess, and I know this isn't the same, but, you know, obviously there was a period in my life when I was more sensitive about talking about drinking or why I don't drink. Some people are so sensitive about drinking. They don't even want to see others drink around them. And, you know, whatever. If that's how it is,that's how it is. But I do think I would be in a bit of a bind if I started to go around saying, how dare you? How dare you ask me why I don't drink?

Speaker 142066.34s - 2066.72s

That is true.

Speaker 62071.92s - 2079.24s

It's not that crazy of a question. I see your point. The is a little bit sensitive about it, but I think the mother could have at least prepared the aunt for the fact that her daughter was

Speaker 142079.24s - 2084.32s

curious as to why she didn't have kids. I agree. I agree. She could have prepared her. Yeah,

Speaker 132084.56s - 2100.48s

I guess I'm struggling to ding on that note. Yeah. I just I guess I'm struggling to ding on that note. Yeah, I think it's a good thing to be like, hey, you know, just watch it. It's a tough topic. She's sensitive about it. Honestly, don't bring it up. But I think she was kind of, my read here is that she didn't want to go too into it because she also felt like it wasn't

Speaker 142100.48s - 2134.24s

her place. Is that? I don't know. Maybe I'm reaching for that though. Yeah, I can see that, but that's where I think the conversation between mom and aunt should have come in where mom says, daughter, my daughter is curious about what's going on. I don't feel it's my place to tell her. She's curious. I don't know how you want to handle it.How do you think we should handle it? Because I would love to be asked if my niece or nephew asked them, what, of their parents something? I want them to talk to me about it before just going and telling them.

Speaker 132135.5s - 2138.36s

Sorry. Say that again, you would want who to talk to who about what?

Speaker 142139.66s - 2147.78s

Okay, say my niece and nephew said something to my brother. And my brother was like, I don't know how to answer this.

Speaker 132148.08s - 2150.8s

This is something that your aunt needs to answer.

Speaker 142150.8s - 2151.68s

Something about you.

Speaker 132152.36s - 2152.68s

Yeah.

Speaker 142152.92s - 2160.28s

But I would want him to talk to me and say, hey, the kids were asking why you don't have any kids.

Speaker 132160.6s - 2161.38s

To give you a head to.

Speaker 142161.58s - 2168.6s

And yeah, because then I can emotionally prepare myself for the conversation. Okay.

Speaker 132168.92s - 2238.8s

Okay, that's fair. I can meet you there. I don't see any harm to a communication like that. I guess my understanding is, you know, O.P. has been vague, right? O.P. ORG says I've kept being vague, but she's become persistent. I don't want to break a confidence. So I wasn't reaching there.So you are right. O.P. ORG could have briefed, um, aunts and said like, and I, I think, I think that's fair. I'm with you there. They knew it was sensitive. They knew this was coming. They could have just disclosed and reported this. And I think that would have been a clean reporting. That said, I honestly see that in O.P ORG's hesitation and confusion on the party line here, I'm kind of like, yeah, it was sprung. It was sprung on the ant.It was. But like, I think it's been a minute. I think she should have this a little bit more on lock and recognize that her reaction was a signal that this is not a fully processed event. I know it's difficult.I know it could be a lifelong pain, but like, I guess I'm just struggling. I'm struggling here.

Speaker 142239.92s - 2268.28s

Yeah, and the aunt could have taken that as like a teaching moment for the niece. I mean, she's a woman. She's going to grow up and have kids and whatever. And mom could have simply said, you know, she just doesn't have kids. And then said something to aunt.And they could have figured out a teaching moment to just teach the daughter about it. Because she's 13. This is the age where you got to learn about that stuff. You start having your period and all of that.

Speaker 132269.4s - 2269.88s

Exactly.

Speaker 142270.24s - 2272.82s

And I honestly think another miss on aunt's side,

Speaker 132272.92s - 2332.7s

and I understand this is a store spot for her, but this was also potentially an opportunity to bond and grow closer to the daughter. You're so right. I mean, you're going to encounter other people who are infertile. And also, yeah, all the other aspects of that. And also it kind of gives some rhyme and reason totheir relationship and creates like kind of a little bit of understanding there where it's like, well, one of the reasons I love you so much and enjoy spending time with you, so I wasn't able to have my own kids. And I always wanted that. A little bit of transparency. So I think my issue is, so I think, I think Lily PERSON, I think she's very insecure, right? She made a comment about being a topic of conversation in our house. And I have known, I've known people like this where like the mere idea that they are being discussed is very disconcerting and scary to them.And it's insecurity, obviously, right? Because, like, you know, talk is cheap people. I'm like, go ahead. Say what you need to say. You want to talk shit about me? Go for it.You know, like, I don't care.

Speaker 142332.9s - 2345.64s

Like, it does not matter. I think that's where the get therapy comes in, where the aunt really needs to get some therapy because she's got a lot of things she needs to work through. And she is not working through.

Speaker 132345.76s - 2366.88s

Exactly. And isn't it telling that she seems to have fixated on the fact that this was discussed, which to me actually is a kind of a good prognosis because it seems like the pain that ails her is not the fact that she doesn't have kids, but the fact that she's worried as being seen without having kids, which really isn't that big of a deal.Nobody fucking cares. No.

Speaker 142367.3s - 2370.3s

I mean, there's a lot of people who choose not to have kids.

Speaker 132370.54s - 2409.12s

Exactly. I do not want them. Exactly. So I am just really, honestly, struggling to ding. I do agree with you that it would have been a better choice to be more communicative. This is going to be a sore topic.O.P. knew that. Maybe I could go soft asshole. I don't know. Let's read some comments and see how I feel. Yogurt drip. YTA. Sorry. Your daughter's 13. She should know by now what boundaries are. That was really rude, especially since she kept at it. You should have told your daughter, not all women have children for various reasons, and it's nobody's business as to why. It's not something you ask about. Wrong.

Speaker 142410.14s - 2420.54s

It's a hard age. They are, their bodies are going through all these changes, and they see all this stuff around, and they're picking up on so much stuff. They just want to know everything.

Speaker 132421.22s - 2430.36s

And I'm sorry, that's not true. It is totally something that you will be asked about. It is something. It is an appropriate question. It's not like asking what's your sex life like.

Speaker 02430.36s - 2436.3s

That is an inappropriate question. Asking why you don't have kids is a perfectly normal question.

Speaker 132437.42s - 2443.76s

Also, the aunt could adopt a child. So if she wanted a kid that bad, she could have adopted

Speaker 142443.76s - 2445.64s

someone. Now we're going somewhere else.

Speaker 132445.86s - 2450.16s

But you're not wrong, but I don't really think it's so relevant at this point.

Speaker 142450.22s - 2450.88s

But you are right.

Speaker 132450.94s - 2453.32s

You can always adopt if it's that big of a deal.

Speaker 142453.92s - 2464.92s

Other comment, it's weird to me that a 13-year-old girl wouldn't understand this. Okay, well, that's fine that you think that. But she obviously doesn't understand it. I mean, she's 13.

Speaker 132485s - 2496.06s

I don't know, her life experience. It's not that much. Charlie writes, YTA ORG, I don't know why you wouldn't just explain to your child that not all women have kids, some by choice and some through no choice of their own. And since we don't always know if it might be an upsetting reason, we don't put people on the spot and ask them casually. To be clear, you said you were being vague, so I have no idea if that means you had the above conversation or just said, I don't know, and try to change the subject. I'm basing my judgment on the latter. Okay, that's moving me a bit. I guess I do feel like that one.

Speaker 142496.06s - 2501.12s

O.P. could have created a little bit more structure here to set daughter up for success.

Speaker 132503.12s - 2505.14s

I don't know. Go ahead.

Speaker 142505.4s - 2510.34s

It is your responsibility as a parent to teach your kids.

Speaker 132510.44s - 2512.38s

So you need to explain things to your kids.

Speaker 142512.38s - 2524.72s

So she just kind of was like, I don't feel like she don't want to explain anything. She didn't have to go into details. She could just have done exactly what that commenter said and explain it to her.

Speaker 132525.64s - 2544.46s

And yeah, she could have explained that, listen, in certain she could have kind of basically kind of abstracted around it and been like, listen, in certain circumstances, it might be the case that a woman is offended by this question, you know, kind of danced around it without actually saying like, she's infertile.

Speaker 142544.98s - 2546.2s

She can't do it.

Speaker 132546.54s - 2570.06s

You know, I guess I just don't like, a lot of these comments are hinging on that, that it's rude to ask this type of question. And I'm like, I just don't agree with that. I think it's a very normal question to ask. There's a lot of offensive questions you can ask.Look, I'm not saying it's a normal. It's not an inappropriate question to ask at a job interview, but it's not a weird question. You know, like, it's not.

Speaker 62571.16s - 2577.56s

And she's her 13 year own niece. Well, why do you have kids? If everyone around her has children

Speaker 142577.56s - 2584.54s

that are adult, it is a weird thing. It's an anomaly. It is a weird thing. And I feel like

Speaker 62584.54s - 2587.56s

O.P. was being, uh, just trying to tiptoe

Speaker 132587.56s - 2592.18s

around this because they didn't know what they were supposed to say. And then I just feel like,

Speaker 142592.28s - 2598.86s

honestly, I, I, I feel like Lily PERSON was honestly just, I don't like what Lily said. If Lily had said,

Speaker 132598.86s - 2603.22s

you know, I really would have appreciated if you had just had some foresight here and,

Speaker 142603.22s - 2608.98s

and maybe just thought to talk to your daughter about this. But that's not what she said. What she said was, are you talking about me in

Speaker 132608.98s - 2619.7s

your house? And I'm like, well, maybe the reason OP PERSON is so freaked out about talking about this is because fucking Lily is like insane about this because she is a shit ton of unprocessed trauma.

Speaker 142620.82s - 2628.58s

Yeah. And I wonder how close O.P. and Lily PERSON are to even be able to have that conversation.

Speaker 132629.62s - 2692.5s

I think so. I think so. I look, I think Lily has suffered. I look, I think being infertile, it's, some people really do want to have kids. And I think being infertile is a very tough lot. Like I've tried to say before, you know, I don't think having kids is like, you know, owning a 2021 Camry hybrid. This is, even though that is a very tough lot like I've tried to say before you know I don't think having kids is like you know owning a 2021 camry hybrid this is even though that is a very special experience this is a this is a very deep thing right to be a mother to be a parent is a very deep thing it's the reason we're here um it's a big deal so So I feel for Lily PERSON. I think, O.P. I think, I think this was a miss. I think this was a parenting miss.I'm ready to go there. I'm ready to also give them some grace because I think that this is not, they're like, I don't know what to say. So I tried to say nothing and like they didn't have the foresight, but then look at it.Even they were already guilty. They were already fucking guilty. They already lost. Even if they had said that. And then Lily PERSON was like, were you talking about me? She's like, uh, no, no, I wasn't. I wasn't, I wasn already guilty. They were already fucking guilty. They already lost, even if they had said that. And then Lily PERSON was like, were you talking about me?She's like, no, no, I wasn't, I wasn't, I was talking about you specifically.I was describing an instance such that

Speaker 142692.5s - 2696.38s

if one were to be infertile, that one would not, you know what I mean? And it's like,

Speaker 132696.98s - 2697.68s

that is true.

Speaker 142698.1s - 2699.48s

It was like a lose-lose.

Speaker 132699.62s - 2735.1s

She was just going to be pissed no matter what. Exactly. It kind of feels like Lily PERSON is just very sensy about this. So I'm sorry, but I just feel like I know Lily PERSON has suffered. I think this is a terrible fate, but I do think it's on her to process this trauma. And I don't think it's an inappropriate question.I think you're right. Opie PERSON could have had more foresight. Let's see if are you with me. AITA ORG for not stopping my daughter asking her infertile aunt why she doesn't have kids. I'm kind of vying for NTA and soft Lily PERSON is. Oh, no.

Speaker 62735.9s - 2737.66s

I agree.

Speaker 142738.04s - 2738.42s

You agree?

Speaker 62739.14s - 2744.4s

Yeah, she should have approached that a lot differently than just,

Speaker 142744.4s - 2746.34s

why are you talking about me?

Speaker 02747.34s - 2748.12s

Gossiping?

Speaker 132749.5s - 2750.76s

That's just, I don't know.

Speaker 02750.86s - 2751.98s

Like, that's weird.

Speaker 142752.28s - 2755.62s

I don't think anyone's ever said to be like, why are you talking about me at home?

Speaker 62756.06s - 2757.7s

Also, not great gossip.

Speaker 02757.96s - 2759.04s

Very inner gossip.

Speaker 142759.2s - 2760.08s

Like, hey, did you know?

Speaker 132760.28s - 2763.66s

Did you know Lily PERSON's infertile? I'd be like, okay. And yeah, now what?

Speaker 142764.92s - 2766.44s

Thanks for telling me, I guess.

Speaker 132766.56s - 2781.78s

I don't know. You're just telling me about now something can never happen, but it's not really interesting to me. Exactly. Well, Teresa PERSON, this has been a joy. Thank you so much for joining me,and I will see you next time.

Speaker 142782.68s - 2783.78s

All right, thank you.

Speaker 132783.96s - 2795.1s

Bye. Hi, everybody. We welcome Karen PERSON to the call-in show. Karen from New Jersey GPE, we have met in person. Thank you for coming to our live show a while ago. How did we met before that?

Speaker 52796.46s - 2799.56s

No, that was the first time.

Speaker 132800.14s - 2811.78s

You're just one of those listeners that I've known for so long. I'm like, are they a listener? Did I just grow up with them? I don't even know what it is anymore. Well, kind of a fun story.

Speaker 52811.9s - 2822.5s

I think like a year before that, I think you were in your first relationship post the five-year one. And I got like, I kind of got really drunk and hit on Uber ORG.

Speaker 132823.5s - 2824.62s

Oh my God.

Speaker 62825.6s - 2827.14s

Fun fact for everybody.

Speaker 132827.7s - 2837.46s

Wow. Yeah. That seems familiar, but you know, I appreciate it. I like to be hit on. It's fun. So, yeah.

Speaker 52837.64s - 2848.78s

And then, yep, we met. And, yep, that was fun. So if you ever do another show, if I decide to come out to L.A. Or if you come back here, I will 1,000% come again.

Speaker 132849.02s - 2867.12s

Love to hear it. Now, you had previously dealt with a bit of a debacle at your apartment as well. You live in a high-rise building. I mean, it's in New Jersey GPE, so like, who cares? But I'm sorry, just a little New Yorker NORP roasting. But now the elevator stopped working. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But now the elevator stopped working. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 52868.9s - 2869.62s

Yeah, this has happened more than once.

Speaker 132872.48s - 2876.72s

And there's old people in your building. You had to traverse 20 floors, 15 floors. What happened?

Speaker 52877.82s - 2879s

There's 17.

Speaker 132880.06s - 2883.7s

Oh, my God. And so did the management help them?

Speaker 52885.88s - 2905.88s

I don't know. I mean, I think, fingers crossed, we haven't had any issues for a few weeks now, but I know people, multiple of us two weeks ago, called the city of Newark GPE because we learned that there actually is an application for entirely new elevators to be put in,

Speaker 62906s - 2909.76s

but for some reason, the city is some processing them.

Speaker 52909.96s - 2919.1s

So we're trying to contact the city and be like, hey, let's maybe process the application that was put in a year ago.

Speaker 132919.62s - 2924.6s

Yeah, there's old people here. Can we get around to that maybe? Right.

Speaker 52924.72s - 2940.46s

I mean, the last time it happened, I had to take my dog outside. I mean, when he has to go, he has to go. So, I mean, I had to do it. And then, like, there was this poor old man, just like you could tell him. He was really struggling. And I was so sad and mad for him.

Speaker 132940.82s - 2946.64s

Crazy. Yeah. And now you're a lawyer in your daily life. What kind of lawyer are you?

Speaker 52947.4s - 2963.28s

So I do civil litigation. So it's kind of funny because this is the, I've done Colin PERSON shows. And last time I was just barred in New Jersey GPE. No, I had just passed the bar in New Jersey, but I wasn't quite actually sworn in. But now I've been sworn in there and now I've been

Speaker 132963.28s - 2966.86s

sworn in New York GPE. So,. Congrats. That's amazing.

Speaker 52967.68s - 2972.84s

Naturally, I will be trying to exploit some free legal advice after our recording.

Speaker 132973.2s - 2976.64s

As you know, I'm always at war. I'm always at war with some corporation.

Speaker 52977.52s - 2978.26s

Yes, you are.

Speaker 62978.82s - 2984.44s

Never stops, folks. They're trying to screw you every way you turn. DM me.

Speaker 32984.44s - 2985.78s

I actually have a new one for you.

Speaker 52985.86s - 2992s

I don't know if you is. I put it into Discord PRODUCT. I have a new one for you to go after college honks moving.

Speaker 132993.14s - 2995.02s

Oh, a moving company screwed you over?

Speaker 52995.86s - 3014.34s

It screwed my mom over. So she just, she moved out here because she realized, you know, after having some medical issues and I'm her only child, just like one of my who I still doing in Colorado GPE? So she made the move out.She got two of those big pods, and one was packed great by college hung.

Speaker 133015.34s - 3018.08s

Okay. But then the next one, they opened it this morning,

Speaker 53018.32s - 3026.72s

and it literally actually looks like a garbage dump. There's just stuff strewn everywhere. I can also say the...

Speaker 133026.72s - 3027.86s

Was anything damaged?

Speaker 53028.88s - 3048.68s

So she hasn't opened a lot of the boxes yet, but there so far actually hasn't been a lot damaged, but like the TV fell out of the box, and when they opened the door, stuff was spilling out. And then she called them, and they're just like, we're going to, they're like, oh,we're sorry, go online and make a complaint.

Speaker 133049.46s - 3061.4s

Well, what your mom needs to do, I mean, look, you're a civil lawyer, you know what we're after here is the damage. So we need to be record keeping, keeping videos. But, you know, if nothing's...

Speaker 53061.4s - 3068.6s

Oh, and I went out on Twitter and kind of what someone needs to come talk to me like now.

Speaker 133069.92s - 3100.34s

Yeah, I mean, at this point, I need to know more about how your mother was damaged, how her property was impacted. But you let me know and we will forge an unbelievably powerful duo and bring college hunks to their knees. And they will cover every dime, every penny of damage done to your mother's. Beautiful interior. By the way, wow. I have no idea what it looks like.I can just tell. Guys, we've got a juicy little sitch, Karen PERSON found. I'm excited about this.

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It's the Kia Summer Sticker Sales Event.

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Speaker 133132.26s - 3187.36s

Here we go. AITA for accessing my dad's phone and deleting a pick of me. My family and family friends were abroad at a hotel resort. I, 18M, don't like shirtless pictures of me being taken. This holiday, I was allowed to do my own thing. That was mainly sleep, eat, and enjoy the pool. To that end, my days only ever overlapped with my family and family friends in the evenings.One night, halfway through the holiday during dinner, I told them I would come with them to the beach. The beach was a 10-minute walk. I specifically no photos at the beach they agreed at this point it's been a fact for years that I don't like my photo being taken it's nothing new skipped the next day we're walking to the beach and I remind them again guys please don't take any photos of me at the beach all as well I decide to put on sun cream they wrote sun cream

Speaker 03187.36s - 3192.56s

which is gross why is that so much grosser but yeah it's sun screen that's weird

Speaker 63192.56s - 3199.04s

sun cream they're nasty um anyway they put on their sunscream and to do this they take off their

Speaker 03199.04s - 3203.36s

top then once done i went for a swim in the sea i didn't put my top back to swim because they

Speaker 53203.36s - 3258.32s

didn't want to get it wet i'm swimming and my dad takes pictures of me without my consent. I shake my head, put my arms up and tell him to stop, and he continues and smiles while doing so. I confronted him, quote, why'd you do that? I specifically asked you not to. He said, you're my son.I can take pictures of you if I want. I later sneak onto his phone and delete the pictures of myself and he gets even more annoyed. Also, for anyone wondering, if he had asked me if he could take a photo, I would have put my shirt back on and let him. I understand he wanted to take a pick of me to commemorate the time at the beach and that's cool, but he did the one thing I asked him not to and I know these photos go on Facebook ORG and that's my fear. I don't need a shirtless photo being seen by all my extendedfamily and friends. There's also the part where I know changing accessing things on people's phone is not cool, but I know he wasn't going to delete the pics A-I-T-A. Well, first of all, he's a little bit of the asshole for calling it Sun-Cream first.

Speaker 133258.76s - 3261.24s

You're digging on Sun-Cream PRODUCT, you monster.

Speaker 53263.76s - 3268.88s

I mean, just, oh, no. Never again.

Speaker 133269.2s - 3279.28s

You just know it makes like a really like, when it's sun cream, it like never comes out clean. It's like, you're like, good God. It's thick in there. It's dairy.

Speaker 53281.12s - 3292.88s

Just too many things make it seem like something else that can come out of somebody. And it's just like, nope. Don't need any more analogies. I am a terrible. I am a terrible person.

Speaker 133292.98s - 3295.86s

Yeah, you're an emotional terrorist right now, Karen PERSON. I don't know what your problem is.

Speaker 53295.86s - 3297.06s

I am. It's fine.

Speaker 133297.84s - 3331.82s

I mean, let me say this. I look, I think I know how we're going to lean on this. So I'm going to take the counter position here and say like I, I do. Look, there is, you know, we talk about New Jersey and New York GPE. You know, New York is a one party consent state. So it is actually as a as a point of fact, it is not illegal to record a conversation or to take a picture of someone in public.In fact, you do not have a right to say, you can't take my picture if you're in public. That's just in New Jersey or in New York GPE. In New York, I don't know about New Jersey GPE.

Speaker 53333.24s - 3346.1s

Yeah, I'd have to look up New Jersey GPE, but, I mean, so, yeah, one board you can send. I mean, that's one of those things where, like, legally you are correct, but, I mean, more, like, I don't know if Morley PERSON is the right

Speaker 33346.1s - 3352.22s

word, but like just being a good father to your kid like then I guess

Speaker 53352.22s - 3377.88s

my main, I think the only grape I could really give a ding is, I mean, you don't know necessarily that he's put them on Facebook ORG, like he is going to put them on Facebook ORG.I mean, it sounds like there's a good chance he will. And I understand not wanting that on Facebook ORG. I mean, the kids 18, you know, teenage years are rough. So he's clearly self-conscious about how he looks.

Speaker 33378.04s - 3378.28s

Right.

Speaker 53379.46s - 3401.5s

I completely understand that. And he is an adult. So, you know, he does have that going for him but i think i mean i just think you know think it's kind of jumping the gun a little bit but i guess he also knows that his dad probably would post it and then it's like trying to take it down

Speaker 63401.5s - 3408s

right you know then you have to get somebody to take it down. And that's, quite frankly, a pain in the ass.

Speaker 03408s - 3409.74s

And then that can cause a bigger fight.

Speaker 33410.1s - 3417.04s

So, I mean, really, the dad's definitely more of the asshole because he took photos

Speaker 03417.04s - 3419.52s

when specifically asked not to, like.

Speaker 53420.24s - 3424.02s

Specifically and repeatedly asked not to.

Speaker 133424.22s - 3429.36s

And yet he still founded in himself to do it um

Speaker 43430.16s - 3437.12s

i mean he's trying to speak like i don't know what like it's like he got you like what what are you

Speaker 133437.12s - 3444.48s

yeah i mean i guess i guess my question is you know how far am i willing to go here you know i am

Speaker 43444.48s - 3449.62s

willing to say look i think there is something messed up about a parent of a child.

Speaker 133450.1s - 3473.76s

This is basically a child. I don't think the fact that they're 18 changes anything. Posting pictures onto Facebook ORG. Yeah, I don't think that's okay. I don't think the child is old enough to consent to that. I don't necessarily think it's very harmful but i'm personally justnot really finding that to be cleanly ethical right i mean that's a human being you're publicizing

Speaker 03473.76s - 3478.72s

their life they are either a baby and they're unable to give consent and once they're old enough to

Speaker 63478.72s - 3487.54s

give consent you know then maybe you can but i think that that's fair. I think you can't non-consensually post a photo.

Speaker 03487.7s - 3488.5s

That's fucked up.

Speaker 63489.74s - 3494.2s

I mean, yeah, it's, I mean, I guess the one thing I will, you know,

Speaker 133494.38s - 3496.38s

I think the one thing, the kid, I mean,

Speaker 53496.38s - 3497.72s

I don't think he's saying anything about friends,

Speaker 133497.8s - 3500.98s

but I mean, if the kid's 18, I'm going to guess most of his friends aren't on Facebook ORG,

Speaker 53500.98s - 3533.88s

so at least he probably doesn't have to worry about friends or bullies or crushes seeing it probably since it's Facebook ORG. But yeah, he definitely has the right to consent. And I mean, he's saying no, like the father should respect that. And I think it's one of those things where these little acts by the father might make it so that down the road OPs doesn't really want to spend time with his dad.Then the dad's going to be scratching his head going, why doesn't my kid want to hang out with me? It's like, well, you're not respecting things.

Speaker 133534.58s - 3539.32s

Well, I think what I was trying to bifurcate is posting versus taking.

Speaker 53539.78s - 3544.16s

And I think maybe that's where I can make a little bit of wiggle room for the dad, you know.

Speaker 133544.16s - 3600.88s

To post someone's photos is, I think, I think that's harder to defend. I suppose you could defend a baby because you go, you know, it's a baby and they're not going to look anything like a baby in a few years. And so basically it isn't actually an identifying photo. I think that would be my defense as a baby photo taker. But once you start to get into maybe like a six or a seven year old, I got to say, I think that would be my defense as a baby photo taker. But once you start to get into maybe like a six or a seven-year-old,I got to say, I think it's fucking wrong, man. You should be asking that child if you can publicize their photo as soon as they can understand it. And if it's a gray area, I think you should err on the side of caution. Oh, I want to post him as my baby. Well, that's a human. That's a separate person.Posting. But my question question karen is i'm finding that a little bit more difficult to defend in terms of i don't have to ask to take my child's picture for my own memories i i'm struggling with that i i don't know that a child has that needs

Speaker 53600.88s - 3626.96s

that right for me to keep it for myself right i mean yeah i mean i can see that but i guess my i mean i think you know that's only his rights to take photos and i can definitely understand wanting to commemorate a nice family trip i mean i went to um i mean i kind of regret that when i went to hawaii two years, a couple years ago my mom got zero pictures together.

Speaker 133628.4s - 3630.12s

Didn't take a single fucking one.

Speaker 63631.12s - 3634.18s

Like we have pictures of me and I have pictures of just her

Speaker 133634.18s - 3636.04s

but none together. And like I remember

Speaker 53636.04s - 3637.96s

I kind of had some freakouts because

Speaker 133637.96s - 3640s

right out like a month after

Speaker 53640s - 3671.56s

she got diagnosed with cancer, I mean she's beating it now. But there were times where I was like, oh, shoot. Like, I didn't take photos of those times. Like, I can understand, like, wanting to commemorate photos either for heavier or later reasons, but he can, you know, there's the photos you take at dinner.You can take photos shirted. Like, why does he need a shirtless photo of his 18-year-old son at the beach? Like, why does it have to be that? Like, there's tons of other opportunities to have some...

Speaker 133671.56s - 3718.7s

A hundred percent. A hundred percent. You know, I mean, I guess I'm feeling like there's a sagacity here. I don't really think it applies, but, you know, I don't think it applies. I do think that if a child had a hard, no photos policy, I would make a little bit of room for the parent to be like, yo, dude, like, you're my kid. And like, I know you're nine and you don't want me to take your picture.But like, I think you're going to want this later. We're going to want to remember what you look like. Can you just trust me and let me take a picture? But the shirtlessness is obviously born of some probably 18 year old insecurity. I understand it. Father is distributing the photos.I mean, I really just can't defend father. He hasn't done anything defensible. This is not okay. No,

Speaker 53718.84s - 3732.5s

he just, yeah, he was like, he was, because he was told twice on that trip and he's been told in years, you know, instances prior.So he's definitely doing something he knew his son didn't want.

Speaker 133734.3s - 3734.54s

I think his son is being annoying.

Speaker 53736.96s - 3746.32s

Look, I think, I think this is born of insecurity. And I think this is a thing people do. Maybe I can, maybe I can pop a good phrase here. But it's antagonizing is not the cure. That's my phrase.

Speaker 63752.34s - 3793.04s

Antagonizing, right? Like, this is an issue. Like, I don't love this issue. This to me says, like, body dysmorphia. It says something is going on. This person is just very insecure with their body, you know? Right. I think it's a bit much. I think it's something to look at, maybe something to say, hey, let's look at this in therapy or like talk to your son about how he feels about his body and get to the bottom of this. Nonetheless, I think we agree wholeheartedly. AITA for accessing my dad's phone and deleting a pick of me. I think that this was repeatedly requested not to be done and O. P said, look, I'm getting rid of the photo. I don't know how he cracked into the phone. I don'tcare how he did it. He pulled it off. He didn't bite off more than he could chew. He just deleted the photos you never want to take in. I'm saying absolutely NTA ORG and father is.

Speaker 53793.68s - 3805.58s

Yeah, I think in this, yeah, not good to go into somebody's phone. But, yeah, I can get a little bit of a pass and that's, yeah, definitely the assholes.

Speaker 133807.34s - 3831.9s

Yeah, I think, look, if you have probable cause and you're not in there mucking around, you know, if he went in there and transferred $1,000 from his dad's bank account to his, then I would say you went too far. But he went in with very clear intent, very clear purpose. And honestly, he didn't be, this wasn't even revenge. This was just undoing specifically what he did not want to be done. I can't even ding for that. Karen PERSON, thank you

Speaker 63831.9s - 3837.28s

so much for joining me today. It's always great to see you. It's always great to see you, Danny PERSON. Maybe

Speaker 53837.28s - 3844.24s

in the future live show, I will see you again. I pray that the elevators are fixed and run smoothly for the

Speaker 133844.24s - 3848.6s

rest of time. All right. We'll see you guys next time. Bye. Hi.